Before 24 Billion and Counting

Chapter19 Part 3 A possible way out and love found on the way

Ellen said, "Try to find some dry bits of scrub for a fire and I'll set up the tent."

It took some time in that dry land but I found a rather unmanageable bundle of prickly bits of dead brush and took them to the orange half-bubble shaped tent.

Ellen poured water into a miniature kettle , and plunged it into the burning brush. It simmered sullenly after a while and she poured the hot water into two plastic handle-less mugs, and added some instant coffee.

"Sorry, it isn't much, black instant not very hot coffee but it 'll make a change from water. and make the sandwiches taste more like a meal."

I pulled a thorn out of my hand and grinned at her. "It's the company I came for, not the cuisine."

We ate ham sandwiches and sipped the coffee sitting close together on the unopened bed roll.

We watched the sun set, and then the darkening sky, eventually velvet black and uncontaminated by light pollution, with bright stars so crystal clear.

I breathed heavily. "It's surely most beautiful."

"The moon will be up soon, when it clears the ridge behind us. That'll be the time to go to bed," Ellen murmured.

I put my arm round her and we drew closer. I felt the brush of her strong black hair on my neck as she settled her head on my shoulder.

The landscape opened out again and the stars dimmed. We busied setting out the sleeping bag in the dim orange tinted moonlight of the tent.

She sat on the bed and gave a slight shiver as she said, "I'm feeling shy,"

"Don't worry. Think I'm not? We've both had long term partners and learnt a set of coded instructions of how to behave with each other. And here we are with two sets of code books, and not the faintest idea if they mean the same things. I'll disappear and you call when you want me back."

I scrambled out of the tent into the moonlight with an erection which I was equally shy of.

I forced a pee which diffused the problem somewhat.

'God', I thought, 'which is worse, the plumbing or the emotion.'

I heard tentative 'I'm here' from the tent.

I thought "Does 'I'm here' mean 'my defences are prepared' , or 'I don't care who you are' or 'I'm prepared to accept your presence' or 'I want you with me'.

I came into the tent and zipped the flap, I noticed Ellen's clothes piled neatly. She must be naked inside the bedroll.

I stripped and lay beside her. We rolled together and hugged warmly.

"Why is this so difficult?" She asked.

"We're older, but not much wiser. We're not teenagers tormented by hormones, and tipsy with alcohol at some noisy party. We've had heartaches, and this is a leap in the dark, naked both physically and spiritually. And I've introduced disturbing ideas about both of us from a manuscript you've not seen, and about the predicament you're faced with in your chosen profession. That's enough to make you hesitant about entangling a relationship with anyone, let alone me. "

"And you? I feel you aren't finding this any easier."

"I'm aware of your situation, don't want to spoil the future for us, and am uncertain of my identity in relation to those people from the future and the past I feel so close to."

"Are you certain of your feelings about me, the me enclosed in your arms. Not some imagined character in a book."

I held her slightly further away and looked at her directly.

"More certain than I've been for five or so years."

" Then let's take the chance. I don't know when we'll be together again. To hell with all the NASA and whoever from the future. There must be time for just us as we are, right now, now we've found each other."

There was something vehement and indomitable about the expression I read in her face. 

I kissed her.

"You're right."

Our lovemaking started with tentative hesitancy until Mother Nature took over in an overwhelming breaking wave of desire, and we ended in affectionate and tender intimacy. 

Finally we curled together in warm contentment, exhausted emotionally and also from the long strenuous hours of our journey across the ridges of the mountain.

I woke as she separated from me, at some time later.

"Alright love?" I asked.

"Never better," She kissed me. "Just a pee. Go to sleep."

I heard her getting into some clothes, and the saw-like sound of the zip.

"Oh shit."

I bolted out of the warmth of the bedroll to join her at the tent opening half expecting a US Army tank in front with a three inch gun trained on us. I shivered in the cold as I put my hand on her shoulder.