Random but Extremely Hilarious Jokes!!!!

Chapter 7

An extremely ugly woman walks into a store with her two kids. The man at the counter asks, "Are they twins?"

The woman says, "No, he's nine and she's seven." Then she says, "Why? Do you think they look alike?"

"No," he replies. "I just can't believe you got laid twice!"

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Husband: Honey I have a problemat work...

Wife lovingly: Darling, not "I" but "We", We r now ONE... Ur Problem is my problem...

Husband: Ok Sweetie, Our secretary is Pregnant for Us..

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when I was born...my mother looked at me with pride and admiration...the devil looked at me and said "Holy crap! I have competition!" :D

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A waiter come and you ask "Can I have a coke?" and the waiter asks "Is a Pepsi alright?" and you say "I don't know, is monopoly money alright?"

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THOUGHT OF THE DAY!!!no woman will ever be truly happy,because no man will ever have a chocolate penis that ejaculates money!

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A man's making love to his wife. He asks her "Can you moan to get me more excited?" She says "the taps dripping, you ain't paid the bills, & your breath stinks

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Wife- I have changed my Mind.

Husband- Thank God! Does the New One work..??

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Q: How to Kill an Ant?

Asked in an exam for 15

marks....

Student:

Mix Chilli Powder with Sugar and keep it outside the Ant's Hole.

After eating, the Ant will search for some water near a water tank.

Push ant in to it. Now ant will go to dry itself near fire.

When it reaches fire, put a bomb into the fire.

Then admit wounded ant in ICU.

Remove oxygen mask from it's mouth and kill the ant.

MORAL: Don't joke with students they can do any thing for 15 marks..!!

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Three women are about to be

executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready! Aim…"

Suddenly the brunette yells, "EARTHQUAKE!!!"

Everyone is startled and throw themselves on the ground while she escapes.