❝do not fall in love.❞ | vent

❝movie nights❞

movie nights
with us
are not popcorn and soda and large televisions
no, they are projectors on a sheet
and baked potatoes and pizza
and gummies flying through the air
because people cannot keep them in their hands
for reasons still unknown. maybe they just can't bring themselves to eat another
after having so many already. yellow and red and
blue scatters the floor.
(the green ones are the best, but i digress.)
movie nights
with us
are tightly packed bodies both sharing and retaining warmth
warmth of others and warmth of our love
laughing too loudly at the silliest things
sharing blankets because there just aren't enough
cake and cookies and all sorts of confections
movie nights
with us
are not popcorn and soda and large televisions
no, they are nineteen high schoolers
all cramped in a tiny garage
sharing food and arguing
because movie nights
don't have to be the stereotypical ones you see in the movies
because really
all that matters
is that you have fun
(and pick a good movie)

-----

11:26 pm
friday
march 9th, 2018

tonight was the second movie night and i fell even more in love with you over the course of only four hours. who knew that such a short period of time could make such a difference. i'm finding myself getting angry at people who show even the slightest amount of interest in you, like when he replied during eurythmy today to your statement of you looking terrible that that was far from true. and it is, but he made me so angry because i was the one who said it first; i was the one who said "no, you don't" immediately after you saying so and then he barged in because he felt that he could say it too. and then tonight he asked if you wanted to sit next to him and you said no but it still made me so angry yet so sad. i know i shouldn't be feeling that way because it doesn't really matter, it's probably just him being kind, but you being female and me being female just makes it all the more difficult to love you because i'm afraid of my heart being broken again. but tonight i forgot all about that because you smiled at me and i almost died.