Blue

Back in time

The stars and the moon shined and twinkled through the window. The blue skies and the blue moon colored the dark room with blue. She sat in front of the window, on her knees. Facing the Blue moon in the sky. Mumbling underneath her breath the prayers to god on how she wished for happiness. She prayed to the moon, she prayed to the stars, she prayed for forgiveness for what ever she had done to deserve such a depressing life. She wished for happiness to every shooting star that went by. But nothing, nothing ever worked.

You could hear the screams and cries of Elvira's mother. Pleading to her  step father for the forgiveness. Her stepfather was a drunken, slothful man. With nothing to do in his life. He complained about his wife being out at night, even when her boss made her stay late, which was always the case. "Excuses!" He would call them. He accused her of being a whore. Called her all kinds of disrespectful names in front of little Elvira. Poor girl didn't need to hear such words ands names. It'd ruined her innocence little mind.

Her mother didn't have a choice but to work late. They could barely afford to take care of Elvira and themselves. So they needed the money. Besides her stepfather wouldn't dare step foot out of the small, wooden cabin that was far out into the woods, not so far from the small village.
Elvira would often try to cut herself, hang herself, drowning herself, or take pills. All in the terms to see her real father in heaven. Her father died from cancer when Elvira was only 4 years old. His last words to Elvira on his death bed was;

"What ever you do my dear little princess. Don't ever give up on life. Be the smartest, kindest girl you could be. Don't ever let anyone stand in your way and be successful. Make this world a better place. And no matter what I'll always love you and be here with you."

The tone of his dying voice, is the same voice she'd think of when she couldn't sleep at night. She'd cry herself to sleep and dream of the moon and the stars. She knew that committing suicide wouldn't help her see her father, it wouldn't take her to heaven, it would even break the heart of her father. So she knew she had to stat strong, she had to stay living on this evil world until her time on this Earth was up.
But all she had was his voice to remember. She barely remembered his face hence she was so young. She barely had any happy memories to remember with her father. Her brain was still undeveloped and unable to remember certain things.

It took her mother 6 years to get over his death.  1 month after his death she knew she couldn't get over it, no time soon so she thought finding someone else would make her forget.
Her mother would hop man to man on most occasions. The fact that her mother would bring male strangers home and sleep with them in the same bed her father used to sleep in was completely disturbing to think about. But her 4 year old mind didn't understand.
It took exactly 72 months (the 6 years she had to wait to get over him and find the man she needed) to find someone, at least she thought she found someone. After so many months of men constantly leaving her, calling her crazy, and breaking her heart. She thought she found the one. Elvira's stepfather. He acted like the man Elvira's mother wanted. The way he danced, the way he sings, the words that comes out of his mouth; is what caught her attention.

1 year later. They were engaged. Poor 11 year old Elvira knew she could not accept this and let this happen. Her mother had been keeping this a secret from Elvira. Elvira was outraged. A storm of emotions hit her like a hurricane that just hit the shore. Elvira knew there was nothing she can do to stop this horrid event from happening. So she had no choice but to let it happen.

June 23rd the day Elvira ran away from home. To escape her mother, stepfather, and worst of them all: her feelings.
She escaped on the night before the wedding which was June 24th. She didn't pack anything she just took her black buttoned coat, boots, jeans, and a long sleeved shirt. She snuck into her mother's room and stole $300 worth of cash. Her mother was asleep and unaware of the thievery by the hands of her own daughter.

"Have you ever thought of just killing her?" The little voices in her head would say that whenever she even took one glance at her mother. Watching her sleep peacefully she'd think of grabbing a knife and slitting her throat "goodbye mother". She'd cry whenever she get those kind of thoughts. She wasn't a monster and didn't want to be one.

After she stole the money she escaped the dark room, where her mother that was now dead to her laid. She tip toed down the old oak-wooden steps. Quietly creaking underneath the heels of her black, leather ankle boots. When she reached the white front door, that was decorated with stained glass of all kinds of colors of the rainbow. Just like the windows at the towns holy church. She opened the big white door that she thought would lead her to freedom.
A part of her felt like this was a bit overdramatic for her to do. But she wanted to. To teach her mother that she can leave, that she can walk away from all the hurt she had left inside of her heart.
When she left the door she moved her arms backwards to pull on her black, fur hood onto her head. Tucking her short blonde hair underneath everything. Her blue eyes glared at the white, bright moon and twinkled in the sight of the stars. Her eyes was the prettiest thing about her and still is. They way her long , brown lashes curled at the end. How her eyes were at a slight angle and curved at the ends. They were wide but at the same time small and doll like. Bags laid beneath them, the only ugly about them. Dark circles formed hence she had insomnia and wasn't able to sleep at night. The boogeyman she believed in hid underneath her bed keeping her up, while keeping her company. She talked to herself, her nightmares and dreams always came true. The blessings of the moon and the stars that danced in the night sky, she called it. The blessings and curses of god himself.
She stared at the front of the peach colored house. The look on her face that seemed emotionless stared blankly into the windows of the house. Praying over it, leaving her blessings there. Leaving faith and hope for her mother on how she hoped she'd never had to get her heart broken again, but she had no hope nor faith for herself. A tear fell down from her bright blue eyes that was as blue as the morning skies. "I'll miss you mother but i cannot stay here with you and that man!" She said to herself with her voice cracking, she broke down into tears, thinking she'd begone forever. The things happening at home plus the things happening at school, she was in a deep depression.

The feelings she felt was like she had fallen into a deep abyss of darkness and loneliness. She felt like no one was with her or on her side. She felt like she had no one to talk to about anything, she was afraid of everyone and herself.
She hoped that her prayers would eventually be granted by god.

She walked into the quiet town. A 30 minuet walk it was until she have gotten to the bridge. The bridge was like the border between the forbidden city of beauty and the small town of hatred.