Colby
I feel tears running down my face, this is like the tenth time this week that I've cried myself to sleep since the incident. I pulled a hideous prank on Sam and ever since then he's been scared to do almost everything, it makes me feel more and more guilty for what I did every time I look at him. I found that imagining both of us sharing a hug while telling him I love him gets me to sleep easier, I just hope I can face him soon, I miss what we used to be only a week ago.
Sam
Colby and I haven't talked in a week, ever since he pulled that prank on me he's been distancing himself and it's getting me worried. I'm worried that he thinks I'm scarred for life or something...I'm not, I just have very hyperactive anxiety. I think about things I shouldn't need to think about right now, like Colby not being around or us not being friends anymore. I've tried texting and calling him but I get no response, I've also tried knocking on his door to try and talk to him...even trying to start conversation in the same room, he just gets up and walks away...or he ignores me. All I can think about right now is our friendship slowly sinking as we watch, too scared to try and fix it.
Colby
I look down in between the cracks in my phone and see three missed call from Sam. I've been hesitant to answer him and or talk to him in a week. I've been trying my best to distance myself but I feel like he thinks I hate him now...which is worse than talking to him, I'm aware. I sigh and get out of bed, I can't ignore him anymore, it's killing me. I walk to Sam's room and knock on the door, heart pounding.
Sam
I quickly get out of bed and put on my sweatpants, opening the door to see Colby finally making the decision to quit pushing me away.
"Hey..."
"Hey, uh...can I come in?"
"Oh, yeah."
"Thanks."
I move out of the way and he comes into the room, I don't think I've felt this awkward around him since we've met.
Colby
As soon as Sam opened the door I could see the redness in his face, he's definitely been crying. I walk all the way in and sit on his bed, sighing as he sits next to me. I knew this was gonna be awkward but DAMN is the awkward. Was this the wrong idea, should I have just waited for him to come to me? No, this is the right thing to do, I fucked up so I have to be the one to fix it first. I find myself staring at the floor in a trance until the sound of Sam's voice snaps me out of it.
"Colby, are you even listening?"
I nod my head, he seems more ok than I thought he'd be actually...he's still his sassy self I guess, as I'm trying to find the words to say he talks again.
"Colby, you're my best friend and I never want you to think I hate you, I can't hate you. Stop thinking about what to say to me, I'm ok if you're ok."
He looks at me like he's waiting for me to say something, how'd he know I was thinking of what to say to him? I should've figured he could see right through me, he always could. I look at the sun shining through the window and follow it until I reach Sam's eyes, the light making one of them shimmer a bright sea blue...my face gets hot.
Sam
I feel myself blush a little as I see Colby's eyes land on me, his face turns a pale pink color as his lips part a tiny bit.
"Did...you wanna say something or?"
My heart beats a little faster as he looks away for a split second, probably recollecting his thoughts, he then looks back at me and looks like he's about to say something.
"Uh...yeah. Uhm...I'm sorry for ignoring you."
I smile a little, I knew he would say that, his face still a pale pink color.
"It's ok, I forgive you. I understand how you feel completely, I'd like you to know that whatever you're thinking I went through that day...you're wrong. I'm ok and have been the entire week, other than a few small anxiety attacks and overthinking almost everything I do...I'm really ok. Don't think you scarred me for life or anything, you didn't."
I take a deep breath, I'm happy I said that now, if I hadn't I would've never said it. His face grows more pink and he looks away from me as if I had just admitted to a gruesome crime.
"What's wrong? Did I say something?"
He shakes his head, staying silent as he stares at the floor. I think if anyone isn't ok it's him...I've never seen him like this. After a minute or two he looks at me again.
"You don't understand how I feel...at all. I should've never had the thought of doing something so awful to the one person I trust with my life. I've been crying myself to sleep every night since that day, that's why I've been avoiding you, I can't stand to look at your face after what I did, I don't know how you can stand to look at mine. Just hearing you say that you've been having panic attacks and overthinking shit pisses me off , it's my fault you're experiencing all of that...I'm a total dick Sam."
I widen my eyes, the tone in his voice sounded angry as the words left his lips. Do I say anything to that? I'm scared that he'll just get more angry at himself if I do, but he needs to know that it's not all his fault. I had anxiety before the prank even happened, yes it made it worse...but not by much. He's going insane, I can tell.
"Colby...it's not completely your fault, you know that I have anxiety...you know that I had mental issues before you pulled that prank...nothing you did worsened anything by much, I can say that confidently. So get those stupid thoughts out of your head right now, like I said, I could never hate you even if you did something extremely awful. I love you and you know that."
I look him dead in the eyes as I wait for his response, my face getting hotter and my heart beating faster.
