Endless Wonders

The Courthouse

"Do you swear to say the truth and nothing but the truth?"

"... I do..."

Jack's eyes flickered with fear. My boy clung to the law, praying that it was the truth. Watermarked my painted face as his knuckles grew white. I listened, as the question began to unravel the truth. The rows of those sitting in judgement watched my son as though he were a child, ready for the hanging. The sun rained down through the vast windows present. No cloud covered our silence, it left a bittersweet feeling in my mouth. The judge sat high, like a god punishing us mere mortals and the people around sat in silence, waiting to hear what they all wanted to hear... The one thing I didn't want to hear... A cold breeze flowed through the room. I felt it's slender fingers lick at my bones as it froze the tears on my cheek. Death had come to the courtroom, and his presence was most certainly known.

I remember when I held him for the first time within the bosoms of my breast. The midwife telling me that he was a boy and he was the healthiest she had seen all day. The tears I had that day were of relief and happiness. I remember looking down at my baby boy and saying "Hello, Sebastian." before I kissed the soft folds of his precious head as he slept on my heart... I remember when he first tasted spinach. When those folds returned on his face, this time in disgust and I remember the infectious laughter that Danny and I shared as we watched our son spit out his food and swear that he would never trust them again... Until we told him that we were going to get ice-cream from Macca's, then he was as happy as we were. I remember when Sebastian broke his leg a week before the local soccer grand final, he was absolutely gutted until his team won and his coach lifted him on his shoulder and took him on a victory lap around the field. But the happiest memory I have of him is when he held Gabby for the first time. He was the first person she smiled at and she was the first one he decided to keep safe... That was the last time I saw my son cry with happiness...

Now my boy sat in front of a courtroom, one mood constantly covering his face. Danny, smudging his memories with KB Lager, and Gabby... She lived in a place that we only dreamed of. Sleeping in a bed of roses and sweet lullabies. A place that had detached itself from the vile brutality of the one I face today. Clouds began to cover the skies above like it knew what my boy was about to say next. I had tried to compose myself but the heavy breathes that escaped my lips told me otherwise... I remember that night, as clear as day, yet as I remember I recalled the rain that fell, the gentle pitter patter that seemed to say "it's okay mum... I'm okay..." I was in the kitchen making dinner when I got the call... I remember when I ran into the hospital, my son on the ground, covering his face with his bloodied hands and I-I remember what he said next. Every mother would. H-he said, "I messed up mum. I-she- I couldn't stop. I was too late. We were just mucking about wh-when... I didn't know that there was a car coming and I-I pushed- I pushed her. I did- I didn't know. I didn't..."

My baby boy, twenty years of age... My baby girl, 11 years of age. Both taken in one night. One by the man that we call God and the other by their own mind. My husband, taken by his own grief... And I...

"We find, Sebastian Brookes, guilty of the manslaughter and sentence him to ten years in..."

I was taken away from everybody that I loved... Even my children.