Campervans

Campervans: part one

Intro
This is for my awesome friends. I have attempted to write how a road trip with you all might turn out, and I hope one day this might actually happen. Please read and I hope you enjoy it❤️

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"Don't you fucking dare"
"Watch me"
Out of the window went Bens headphones. Gracefully flying through the air only to neatly swallow dive the tarmac and get promptly crushed by a lorry, their wires spread upon the road like icing on a cake. A scream of anguish filled the VW camper van. I turned from my handiwork grinning to see Ben, head in hands. He looked up and betrayal filled his eyes.
"How could you. How could you??"
No one else seemed put out. In fact they were all smirking, even the current designated driver Rosie.
"You know I can't socialise! I don't even know why I'm here!"
"To be honest I don't know why your here either" remarked Jed.
"It doesn't matter why he's here. Now his headphones are gone he has to stop staring at memes and actually appreciate his surroundings" I said. "We are in France for fucks sake! Enjoy it goddamnit!"
"How can I enjoy it when there are twelve people crowded illegally into this tiny camper van? I can barely breath! Besides, it's France. It's not actually that much different from England."
He did have a point. It had been Jacinta's suggestion to pile everyone in one van for the driving part, and I could tell she regretted it. Sharing seats wasn't exactly comfortable, not to mention the difficulty of avoiding getting pulled over for illegal driving. I had seen Hannah duck behind the dashboard at least four times so far to hide from speed cameras. It would be better when we reached our first campsite however, as we had several tents to share.
"Don't moan Ben. It's not supposed to be comfortable." Stated ellie.
"That's what she sai..."
"Hannah NO"
Max turned and winked and Georgia lost it. I realised at the same time as Jacinta what exactly I'd got myself into, and we shared a glance of humorous pain. This was going to be one hell of a trip, of that I was certain.
Kpop blasted suddenly through the speakers, and I felt everyone flinch in unison. A chorus of annoyed voices started, but were quickly shut down.
"Driver gets to choose, and I choose kpop." Rosie laughed. Everyone grimaced as she turned the volume up except Morgan, who seemed to be enjoying it a bit too much. His smile quickly disappeared with a death stare from ben, who still looked like his youngest child had been sold to a witch. It appeared that Georgia was determined to get his good spirits back up, as she leaned over and yelled "DANCE WITH ME JOSEPH" before proceeding to wave her arms around ecstatically, giving Ellie an accidental smack in the face.
"Bitch HOW DARE YOU."
A small fight broke out in the back seats, consisting mainly of hitting each other with pillows. An unidentifiable sniper from the front hurled an orange over the headrests, and it hit max squarely in the nose. He released a war cry and launched it right back, it bounced off Cobs head and into the front windscreen. Rosie screamed and swerved, hitting a pothole. Someone's water jumped out of their cup, soaking Abi completely. A huge bang echoed through the van and it gently rolled to a stop in the lay-by. I slowly turned to face max.
"You. You idiot. What the fuck."
"It wasn't my fault!" He protested. "whoever threw that damned orange at me caused this!"
I glanced to the front row. Hannah and Jed looked equally guilty, and rosie appeared to be having a panic attack. It could have been any of them. Sighing, I reluctantly stood.
"Alright. Everyone out. We are going to fix this van if it's the death of me."
The doors opened and everyone piled out onto the edge of the road. It was instantly obvious what had happened. The front left tyre looked like a deflated football.
"Someone fetch the spare."
"Does anyone know how to fit a spare?"
There was a communal head shake. Georgia sighed deeply. It appeared we were stuck.
"Guys. Slight problem. I may have removed the spare to make room for our tents."
Everyone turned to Ellie. She looked pretty un phased by the nine sets of eyes glaring daggers at her.
"It's not like we could fit one anyway, right? I mean what's the point in getting mad?"
"Because, you cretin, we could have got help from a driver who did know how to fit a tyre. Now thanks to you we have no way of getting going any time soon!" hissed Jacinta.
"There is no point in fighting. Ellie was a buffoon but I'm sure we can all get over it. Now, what choices do we have?" Max looked round our company for suggestions. No one had any.
"Call the breakdown service?" Asked Morgan
"We don't speak French. My vocabulary consists of 'baguette' and nothing else." Grumbled Ben.
Jed rolled his eyes. "What choice do we have? It's either stay here all night, or call for help. Who's got signal?"
Several voices all spoke at once. It appeared that Georgia, ellie, Ben and Morgan did.
"Ok so out of you who's got remaining data so we can find the right number?"
Only ellie did. We all crowded round her phone to find the number, and to google translate the right sentences for the call.
"Right. Everyone be quite. I'll make the call." Max backed away from the circle as the phone started to ring.
"Hello? Oh I mean bonjour! Right, um, notre voiture a fait éclater un pneu. nous sommes dans un lay-by sur la route principale. s'il vous plaît venez nous chercher?" We all nodded encouragingly as he spoke the faulting French we had rehearsed. Then his face creased in confusion. He covered the phone with his hand.
"What on earth does 'ça coûte quarante euros' mean?" He whispered. Jed frantically searched his French dictionary.
"I think he's saying it'll cost us 40 euros?"
There was an outcry. "40? That's more than my future is worth!" Shouted Jacinta. I nodded in agreement. "Me too."
"Guys. We either pay up or stay here. I choose the former. Everyone give me 4 euros, we'll split the cost." georgia said.
Four didn't seem bad, everyone rummaged in their pockets for coins. Meanwhile max continued with his call.
"Yes-I mean oui. Gracias? Wait that's Spanish. Merci!" He hung up, and breathed a sigh of relief.
"They will be here in three hours."
A huge groan emitted from rosie. "Three hours? Whyyyyyy."
"It's better than nothing. We mareswell make ourselves comfortable. Someone fetch cards against humanity?"
There was a small cheer from Hannah. Morgan fetched several camping chairs from the van, and we all settled in a circle on the grass verge. It wasn't too bad of a situation, I thought. Although we certainly wouldn't reach our campsite before dark. Ah well. This was already a disaster, but I had to admit it was pretty funny. There was a sudden scream from Rosie, quickly replicated with one from Georgia. The air filled with cards hurled away in terror.
"GUYS IM SAT ON AN ANTS NEST!" Screamed georgia.
"AGGCFHJJUJKKKK" an illegible cry from rosie as she leaped up and ran in circles frantically brushing her clothes free of ants. I started to snigger, and I heard a couple from the others. Ellie suddenly let out a huge snort , and was soon rolling around screaming silently and clapping her hands. The giggles picked up, and Georgia shouted "ITS NOT FUCKING FUNNY! IM BEING BITTEN HERE YOU BITCHES!"
That only increased the laughter. As the sun sank away from the scene, I pondered over what tomorrow would bring.