There are three bags I'm holding.
Yours.
Your bestfriend's.
Your another bestfriend's.
You are all walking ahead of me, not bothering to look back. You didn't even ask if your things are heavy. You just all laugh and made your way store per store.
“I am okay.”
As we were eating, you are all laughing with each other's jokes only you could understand. I force myself to smile as I hold your phone, capturing a moment you treasured. You, her and her. Me? I was behind that picture.
“I am okay.”
Oh. Did you also remember that time when you sent a candid picture of me when I was sleeping and sent it to our block's GC? You even edited it and turned it into a funny meme. You made me a laughing stuff.
I confronted you but instead of apologizing you said, “Joke lang 'yon, ano ka ba? Ang sensitive mo naman.”
“I am okay.”
Did you also remember how you guys locked me up in the bathroom as I was having a bath?
No? Okay, let me remind you how I hug my cold naked body while crying out your name and asking you to let me out.
Let me remind you how I choke back the tears, dissapoinment and angriness I am feeling. Let me remind you how I can't breathe from shivering. Let me remind you how I forgave you the second you stared into my eyes.
“I am okay.”
You, her and her, do you guys remember how I rushed into the police station when you called me in the middle of the night? How I defended you on your parents? How I was called an emo that bad influences the three of you?
Hindi, 'di ba? You've long forgotten.
No, let me rephrase that.
“Kinalimutan n'yo.”
Kinalimutan n'yo kung paano tayo magtawanan noon.
Kinalimutan n'yo kung paano tayo sumaya sa maliliit na bagay noon.
Kinalimutan n'yo kung paano ko hinihipan ang tuhod n'yo kapag nadarapa kayo noon.
Kinalimutan n'yo kung paano ko pinupunasan ang pisngi n'yo kapag nag-away-away kayo noon.
Pero okay ako.
I'm okay 'cause I know at the very least, kaibigan n'yo ako.
Naging kaibigan n'yo ako noon.
i f l v a o
