comforts

vic

i find probably way too much parent comfort in him and idk hoping this will help me
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depression/this is 4 me

as of late, i haven't even had the motivation to eat, of course Dad's been leaving plates on my nightstand, taking them out each morning and night and replacing them with another meal we both knew wouldn't get eaten, just thrown to the trash. a cycle we were both used to.
i laid face down in my bed, Dad came over and knocked softly on my door.
"are you doing okay, Devin?"
i muttered a yes but i knew he didn't believe it, why would he? i've been in bed for almost 3 days, only getting up when necessary. he came over, sitting on the edge of my bed.
"do you wanna talk?"
"no." i wasn't in the mood to hear the usual "it gets better." shit. it's been years and it's yet to get better, why would it now?
Vic gently pulled his fingers through the knots that had gathered in my hair over the past few days, smoothing them out.
"i know you hate hearing this, but i really do understand. i may not feel your exact pains, but i get it."
i nodded into my pillows. he frowned.
"i wish you'd at least eat something, i hate to see you allow yourself to waste away like this. i don't want to lose my favourite kiddo to this."
that managed to get a small smile out of me, my favourite nickname, though it quickly faded.
"what's the point, daddy? everything hurts and it doesn't feel like it's ever gonna get better. people always tell me it does but when? it's been years and it hasn't gotten even a little bit better."
he paused for a second, trying to think of the right words.
"i know, darling, and i wish i could make it better, but it takes time. depression doesn't heal overnight, believe me i wish it did. sometimes talking helps, though, if you want to."
i shook my head, pushing myself off my bed. Dad pulled me into a hug which i happily accepted.
"i can't put how i feel into words. everything just feels heavy and i feel like i'm stuck."
he kissed the top of my head.
"i know the feeling, Dev, i really do. i'm sure you'll hate hearing this but unfortunately all you can do is try to push through it. getting out of bed will help, it won't feel like it at first but after a while it will. so will eating."
he added the last part with a glance towards the plate of now cold breakfast on my nightstand.
we were both silent for a few minutes, i was just content hugging him, i hadn't realised how badly i needed that; i haven't been getting up to say goodnight to him recently as i usually do.
"why don't you come out and eat dinner with me? we can eat in the living room and watch a movie."
i hesitated, but nodded slowly.
"what movie?"
"whatever you want, i'll let you pick."
i nodded again, pulling out of the hug. Vic smiled. he stood up off the edge of my bed and helped me pull myself out of my fortress i'd created on my bed during the past few days.
he pulled me into another hug,
"i love you, Devin, and i know depression may tell you otherwise, but you really are loved. by me and so many others. your uncle, your mom, jaime and tony love you too."
i hugged him a little tighter.
"thank you daddy. i love you too."
he pulled away and ruffled my hair.
"why don't you go pick out the movie, i'll get food situated, okay kiddo?"

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this sucks but whatever i haven't written a story since like 3rd grade so i'm proud of myself for even getting this done also this is for Me so it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks bc this is to help Myself with My problems

also i s2g if one of u says something about the word daddy other than in a fatherly way i'll fight i don't mean it in the kink way i mean it because i see him as a fuckin dad figure as in i see him as my dad as in an actual father