Lyov and Maria - Valentines Day Special

Lyov and Maria - Valentines Special

(PLEASE NOTE: I do realize you probably haven't read Blood and Roses yet. And that's no problem. There is no spoiler in this letter. But...here is a big BUT. You need to have read The Mafia and His Angel first. If you read TMAHA, then you know who Lyov and Maria are. You know their ending, hence this won't be a surprise to you. This letter will only make sense if you have read TMAHA. Thank you.)
______________

To my beloved wife,

My sweet Maria – I am writing this letter, yet I wished I could say those words to you. I wish I could look into your eyes and say those words. But I no longer have that right. I no longer can look at your face, feel your touch, or hear your voice.

So I have resolved to writing this letter, a letter I know would never reach you. Because you are so far far away. From me. From everyone. You left so suddenly and I couldn’t hold you. You escaped right through my fingers. I watched you slip away and I couldn’t hold you closer. How I wish I could go back and turn time around…

I am sitting here right now, in our bedroom, the same room that I still see you in. In every corner of it, I still see you there – smiling at me. I can sometimes still hear your voice, whispering that you love me. But when I open my eyes, I only find darkness and emptiness. A hole, a huge gap you left behind, my Angel.

I don’t even know why I am writing this letter. I don’t know….

All I know is that I miss you.

I miss you more every day. I miss you more with every breath I take. I miss you more every time I wake up and you are not beside me. I miss you more every time I see our son with his wife and I realize that I can’t hold you, like he holds his Angel. Not anymore.

Today is Valentine’s day. I didn’t know until Alessio bought Ayla flowers and he swept her up in his arms, carried her upstairs to their room. They are happy, just like you always wanted.

But today, is just yet another lonely day for me.

Do you remember our first Valentine’s day? I was stupid back then. Not a romantic. I didn’t know the first thing about courting a woman, or what the fuck men do on Valentine’s day. With Lena’s help, I was able to make that day special with you.

Remember how I had woken you up with a sweet gentle kiss on your lips? I still remember your sleepy smile. Then you had opened your eyes, and gazed up at me with those blue eyes of yours. You took my breath away. Stole it right from my lungs, and you had me completely enraptured. I was a willing victim in your trap, my Angel.

You had kissed me back. And then we made sweet love. You were happy. That beautiful smile of yours was present the whole time and you said your cheeks were hurting. And I had jokingly said that I wanted your cheeks to hurt, because it meant you would always be smiling then.

I remember how I possessive I was of your smile. I wanted it only for myself. Always.

Our first Valentine day…a special day…the day, I proposed…the day I made you my wife.

The day you became Maria Ivanshov.

I remember the day as if it were just this morning.

Do you know…you looked so beautiful in that white dress. It was simple. You wanted it simple. But my sweet Maria, you wore simple so beautiful and elegantly. You looked like a Queen that day. A queen walking down the aisle to her King. Our little happily ever after.

I remember lifting your veil and I remember your small laughter. You had looked at me with complete adoration and I knew…I knew my eyes said the same thing.

I knew my eyes said…I love you, when my words couldn’t. You had me speechless. So, I had kissed you to show you what I felt. You had sighed into my lips and kissed me back. My heart was beating so wildly at that moment. You were already mine, yet I was nervous. My palms were sweating. You were about to become my wife, in front of God and witnesses.

When the moment my soul became yours, and yours became mine – I breathed my first real breath.

Right now, I looking down at my hand. I still wear my wedding band. I never took it off, you know. I couldn’t.  Because taking it off, it made it too real. I couldn’t…I just fūcking couldn’t.

Today is Valentine’s day. It’s our anniversary.

I just wish I could kiss you one more time, Angel. Just one last time…is that too much to ask?

Why can’t I? Why can’t I fūcking kiss you one last time? Why? Why can’t I…hold you…one last time?

I used to be heartless and I am now an emotional fool. I guess, it’s your magic, Angel. You played your trick and here I am…

Broken.

I wonder how long will it be until I see you again? How long will I have to be broken before you unbreak me? I guess…I just have to wait.

And you…

Please wait for me, my Angel.

Happy Valentine’s day and Happy Anniversary.

Yours truly – now and forever,
Your husband, your Lyov.