Winter In My Heart | ROBB STARK.

XXXIV. Vexing Visions

He regretted it the second he finished, watching with a suddenly tightened chest as her expression froze and her eyes hardened. She was silent for a few minutes, leading Tiernan to believe that he almost got away with it and that she wouldn't retaliate. But it wasn't long before she was able to reply.

"You think I've become a Mad Queen is that it?" She asked rhetorically, her tone scarily calm but her expression showed different. "You wanna know what I think?"

She continued before he could reply.

"I think you're the one that's power hungry. Let's face it, if I hadn't left Baelfort in your hands when I rode off to war, you wouldn't have hated me the second I returned," his mouth opened to deny it, but she cut him off. "You think I don't know that you wish I had never come back? I'm not foolish to believe you didn't mourn me, but I'm also not foolish enough to be blinded to the fact you have wanted what I have ever since we were children. I was there when you were fourteen and asked my father if Baelfort would be yours because you were the only male successor, and I seen the look in your eyes when he told you that it would be me.

"I don't hate you for it. You thought Baelfort was yours until I came out of nowhere and snatched it back from you. You're right, I'm not power hungry. I could give a damn if I'm a lady or a queen. But I needed that power that I lost back. You weren't there. You weren't forced to watch as Gregor Clegane slaughtered all your men who allowed it to happen to save your life. You weren't stuck in a room, forced to watch and listen as everyone around you that you had grown to care about was butchered mercilessly. Ser Mick died protecting me. Robb died right in front of me. Catelyn died right in front of me. And all I could do was scream as they dragged me over the bodies and threw me in a cell, covered in everyone's blood. The most violent thing you have ever seen in your life is a dog chasing a rat. You will never know the feeling of being absolutely and entirely powerless, I loved Robb Stark with all my being and he died. He died and he left me and he swore he wouldn't. He died and he left me with a babe I'll be forced to look at everyday and see the man I lost. This baby inside of me is the reason I haven't taken my own life already so don't you dare sit there and tell me that I don't deserve to be snappy, or it's shit that I don't smile or make conversation about the fucking weather or whether or not the maid and kennelmaster are fucking. Don't you dare act as if I haven't earned the right to feel like I have a little control over my life again and that I don't deserve to get my revenge."

She was crying by the end of it, and Tiernan himself felt his eyes water. He was absolutely speechless and the guilt exploded through his body without mercy. He opened his mouth to speak, but she only waved her hand to shut him up.

"Just get out of my room, please."

When he didn't move she lifted a stray book from the table aside her bed and hurled it through the air until it hit the wall by his head.

"I said get the fuck out!" She screamed at him, causing him to jump, leap up and half-sprint to the door to get out of the room.

The second he closed the door behind him, he could hear the sobs start up again, mixed with groans of pain that accompanied yet another contraction.

-

Tiernan never strayed far from the hallway Fianna's chambers were on for the hours following. The maester travelled in and out, as well as a few maids. Occasionally, Fianna would let out howls of pain so loud he was never so glad to be a man in his life.