Songs My Mother Taught Me; A Collection Of Short Stories

Erika

I can feel myself getting worked up now at this memory. I shouldn't spend my time going over old arguments. Dieter apologised after all and told me that he just gets frustrated. We have been courting for a long time, after all.

Oh look, I've got myself into such a state that I forgot my turn and started on the path home instead! I'll have to walk back now and it's beginning to rain.

Dieter simply can't like Gretchen, not like that. Dieter says he wants a wife who stays at home with his children and Gretchen hates children. Mama says I'm being so silly and of course Dieter doesn't suddenly prefer Gretchen, even if he did walk her home after the dance last week. He was just looking out for her, they are old friends.

Ah, here we are. Oh well look there, on the other side of the road there are two Nazi guards! I can't go in now. But what to do? I can hardly stand here.

One wolfwhistles me and the other laughs but before I have time to really worry, someone shouts from the other end of the road. Some idiot with a death wish shouts out, calling them bastards and before I even have time to gasp, they are away chasing him.

I do check before I enter the building, as always, but the few people around are more interested in the chase than a girl slipping into a grey old office building.

Oskar greets me and he blushes so hard that his face glows. Poor Oskar. He once wrote me a poem to express his admiration for me and I do try to forget it when I see him. I sometimes imagine taking Oskar home to meet Mama and how she would react to him, especially after Dieter with his handsomeness and charm.

"Erika, I didn't think that you were coming today-" He murmurs.

"It is not so easy to wander across half of the city without anyone knowing where I am going." I snap, more harshly than I meant too. There is a pause in which his face glows brighter red and I feel a stab of shame. "Forgive me, Oskar. I am cold and tired. I did not mean to take it out on you."

"Do not think that you are not appreciated." He flushes deeper than ever and for one cruel second I believe that I could get more warmth from his cheek than I can from the small fire.

"I wish to see Helena myself today."

He nods and without further ado, he leads me into the back room. He talks to himself as he leads me through the store room. He has always had the strange habit of mumbling to himself as he does things, ever since we were children. Gretchen, Dieter and I would always laugh at him for it.

Helena never did though. She was always so kind to him and now I wonder if this is why he risks so much to help her.

Oskar guides me to the very back of the room and in a well worn ritual, he glances around several times before pulling back the the curtain, then the bookcase, then the section of floor that the bookcase sat upon. The trapdoor to the cellar is reveled quickly, so practiced are his movements.

I hurry down quickly, eager to show Helena what I have managed to get for her. Oskar closes the door behind me and I hear him drag the heavy bookcase above me, sealing me tightly in. For a brief moment I feel claustrophobic.

How would Helena ever get out of here if anything happened to Oskar?

She looks strained when I enter the gloomily lit cellar. Shmuel is in the corner nursing the baby and I soon as I enter, she waves a thin hand to shush me.

"Ben is cutting his teeth." She breathes in a scarce whisper.

I perch myself on the uncomfortable, springy mattress and place my bag at my feet as Helena sits neatly beside me. She hasn't been outside in months and her skin is so pale that she looks ill.