I didn't feel too good. I think I just had to get out of my apartment for a bit, ya know, just have a walk around. It had snowed, but it wasn't snowing anymore, so it was the perfect time to have a wonder around. I was wearing black skinny jeans, a black and white MCR hoodie, a black beanie, white and black Dr. Martens, a black choker and a black coat. I also had black eyeliner on and just a swipe of sparkly lip gloss. You could say I was looking very 'emo', but that would all be thrown out of the window when you looked the mass of brown curly hair I had bursting out from underneath my hat.
I had decided to go for a walk without my ear buds (crazy, I know), but they had broken, so I couldn't use them anyway. I still took my phone though (I needed to take artsy pictures that fit with my aesthetic). So I set foot outside, realising that the snow was a little deeper than anticipated, but nothing too deep a good ol' D.M wouldn't be able to handle. The snow came to just about halfway up my foot, so the bottom was completely covered.
Looking around, I noticed that I was probably one of the first people to actually walk on the pavement after the snow had fallen and set. I felt bad for ruining the picturesque blanket of snow, but then I realised that it would all be gone in three days, so I had to make the most of it. Walking over the bridge that lead into town, I saw a couple holding hands and walking down the canal side. I would be lying if I said that I didn't want to be in a relationship. I want to be in a relationship so badly that it hurts, but the guy I like wouldn't look at me even if I dropped down dead in front of him.
As I looked towards the horizon, I felt a sudden sadness and anxiety hit deep down in my stomach. Realising that I'm probably never going to be good enough for the one person I adore upsets me greatly, but it's not like I didn't know it when I first looked at him. I should probably stop throwing my feelings around.
Walking towards the little park at the end of the town, I stopped to take a photograph of the sunset. It was the most beautiful colour of red and I was happy that it was going to last for a long time, because it was the right time of the year. Looking at the photo, I posted it to Instaram and on my Snapchat story, just to see if he will notice it. Notice me. I doubt it, but it's always worth a try.
Now I was getting closer towards the park, I saw a few more people, and a couple of groups of people heading down there too.
The park looked beautiful. I loved living here, purely because of how pretty the community made things look at anytime of the year. The bandstand was strung up with warm coloured fairylights, the trees wrapped in corresponding colours. The snow was laying on the grass like a thick white blanket, and the picnic benches were dusted with snow too. I took my phone out to take another picture, and then saved it to my gallery. All I was going to do was have a quick little walk around, then go home again. But that was until my clumsy little self decided to crash into an unexpecting citizen. And the unexpecting citizen was no one other than him (cheesy, I know).
"SORRY!! Oh my god I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" I frantically said.
"Hahaha it's okay, I'm fine, don't worry about it. Oh hey Annamaria, didn't realise it was you." Freddie said, and I just about died. At least he knows who I am.
"Yeah, I'm a bit clumsy. What are you doing out here?"
"I just wanted to go for a walk, to like, clear my mind. There's a lot going on and I can't really deal with it at the moment. Do you wanna take a walk around together?" When he said that, I'm pretty sure my heart stopped beating altogether.
"Sounds good, why not? Let's go." I said.
-------------------- Time skip cause I'm lazy -------------------
We had been talking for around an hour now, and I had honestly fallen so much more in love with him.
"So," he said, "Do you like anyone?"
R.I.P Annamaria
"Yeah, I like someone. Do you?"
"Yeah. I really really like someone." Well, that didn't really come as a surprise.
"Who is she? Is she pretty?" I said, optimism in my voice, just because I was trying so hard not to cry.
"She's extremely cute. Her music taste is great and her art skills are amazing. Her height is the best thing about her though. She's so small I could just put her in my pocket, and she's really cute when she's trying to get something and she can't reach." Freddie was looking up as he said that, and I was really wondering who he was thinking about."
"Soooo, what's her name then?" I asked. He didn't answer in the way I though he would.
"Hang on, I thought I saw her around here somewhere. Stay here and I'll find her."
"Oh, okay." I said. As he walked off, a few tears dripped down my cheeks, but I tried to wipe them away quickly. I saw him walking back to me, but he didn't have anyone with him. He probably couldn't find her. You're such a silly girl.
"Hey look," He said, and kissed my forehead. "Found her."
