salanghada

night sweats

Jaewon woke with sweaty hair plastered to his forehead, his breathing coming in short bursts as he struggled to calm down. Cruel laughter rang in his ears, and though he wanted to close his eyes, the images that beckoned from the darkness led him to avoid it at all costs. A soft knock on the door caused a soft gasp of surprise from the red-haired boy, though he relaxed immediately at the kind brown eyes that peered out from blonde bangs.

"Are you alright, Jaewon? We know you got to sleep late so we let you sleep in, but we heard you making some weird noises." Daehyun wrinkled his nose in distaste. "You sounded upset so I came to check up on you."

Jaewon smiled softly, appreciative of his friend's effort. "I'm okay. Just a bad dream."

Dae seemed suspicious, but let it slide in favor of returning to the fragrant dining room with a nod and a bright smile. Jaewon stretched until his hands bumped the bunk above his head, letting out a long breath before he stood to join the others for breakfast.

Dongho looked murderous as usual, glaring at his pancakes as if they had threatened his family and stepped on his feet. Minsoo looked far too happy for nine in the morning, but Jaewon couldn't help but offer a small grin in response to Minsoo's joyful expression.

Dongho looked him up and down, eyes narrowing at the way his shirt stuck to his sweaty chest. "Why are you wet?"

Jaewon rubbed the back of his head and smiled sheepishly, mind running through possible excuses before landing on something plausible. "Must have a cold, night sweats and all."

Dongho didn't seem like he believed him, but nodded slowly and went back to dissecting his breakfast a tad too aggressively. "Make sure to wear a mask then. We have a fanmeet today."

Jaewon nodded with guilty eyes downcast and sat down to a bowl of cereal left out for him by Daehyun. He wasn't hungry, but the gaze he felt drilling into his skull made him pick up the spoon and eat anyway. Dongho may have seemed stoic, but he was a force to be reckoned with when it came to the group's health.

The next time Jaewon looked up, Dongho seemed a bit more at ease, and his gaze met Jae's with smiling eyes. Jaewon cleared his throat and shoveled cereal in his mouth to try and drown the feeling those dark eyes brought about in his stomach.

***

His mask was so itchy. Suffocating, even. It almost made him regret not just telling the truth instead of going along with the lie that he was sick. But he couldn't be a burden. He already caused enough trouble for Mayhem.

Waving goodbye to the last of the fans from the meet, he climbed unsteadily into the van, almost losing his balance but caught by a warm pair of hands. Daehyun smiled. "Be careful. Wouldn't want you hitting your head."

Jaewon's eyes squinted in a "my-mouth-is-covered" version of a smile, and he tugged himself the rest of the way into the vehicle, falling into the soft seat with a "plop". He exhaled, feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted from his chest.

It wasn't that he didn't like meeting the fans. It made his day, in fact. It was just the looming memories of those nightmares, those sharp-clawed shadows that whispered in his ears. 'Crybaby, crybaby, crybaby.'

Their words echoed so loudly in his mind that he almost didn't realize Dongho was speaking to him softly. Minsoo and Daehyun were playfully arguing across from them, too enveloped in their conversation to notice the quiet exchange happening across from them.

"What's wrong?" muttered Dongho, eyes narrowed even as his mouth was turned down in concern. "You're staring out the window like you've seen a ghost."

Jaewon couldn't meet those searching eyes, his shoes suddenly becoming remarkably interesting. "I'm fine, just tired is all."

The other boy looked over him with an assessing stare, not seeming to buy into this lie in the slightest. At last, he nodded, but didn't take his eyes off of Jaewon's face. "You know you can tell me if something is wrong, right? We're a group. We're family. It's our job to take care of each other."

Such gentle words seemed odd coming out of the sharp-tongued boy's lips, and Jaewon looked up in surprise. He held his hands to stop them from reaching out, begging for help. "Y-Yes. I know."

Dongho sighed, turning back to his book with an almost-smile in Jaewon's direction. His heart was thumping in a way that was equal parts shock and yearning. Help his mind gasped. Help me.

But he just turned back to the window and pulled his mask tighter.

~*~*~

I know it's a bit short, but I have a lot of trouble gauging how long it'll be since I'm writing on my phone! Hope you enjoy, let me know what you think in the comments ٩(^‿^)۶