I guess we all don't stand out. Maybe we don't try. Or we don't want to. Or maybe it is simply that we were not made for it. I am not like those peacock people. Bright, colorful, beautiful. People are amazed to see them. And im not even like the crow people. Dark, menacing, still beautiful. People are also amazed to see these.
No I am none of them. I am that fuzziness you get on a unstable t.v. . What annoys me most is how Peacocks and Crows made mental illnesses a fad and whomever had one was automatically one of them. That the minute you have an anxiety attack everyone will admire you. But unfourtunatley when the words spill out of your mouth that you have social anxiety or insomnia like a wave of nostalgic aesthetic you are pretending. Most of the time people are not pretending but it is taken that you want to be seen and at the center of all attention. Taking center stage of those whom were born to be there. They see you as taking a popular cliché norm and taking advantage of its "innocence".
But whether you are a blooming flower faking your suicidal thoughts or actually not sleeping and taking pills it is all the same. They just can not pick out who is who. Their eyes masked with shallowness used on a daily basis.
These are the thoughts that are keeping me up tonite. As I lay in bed looking up at the starry sky some would call a plain ceiling. Just me, a plain silhouette of grey fuzziness laying on spaceship some will call a bed. I am awake and I know I am not getting sleep anytime soon. Looking over to my clock it illuminated the green numbers, 3: 15. In a couple hours I would have to get up and start my day. Then look over to the otherside of the galaxy some would call my room. The wall held up a window. A window looking out to reality. Looking out to a small town with even smaller expectations in itself. A place I resent. While it is beautiful it is also mean and death defying.
I click my tounge and shift my gaze to the starry sky. Still clicking my tounge I continue to dive deeper into my ocean of thoughts.
