Horizon

[07]

          "How she dresses? Lesbian. How awkward she is around girls? Lesbian. How she drives a truck?! Lesbian," she explained, motioning her hand to the television to show her evidence. It was a scene in which Bella was driving in her truck to school.

          "I see your points but there are other logical reasons for those things. How she dresses? Tomboy. How awkward she is around girls? She's awkward around everyone. How she drives a truck? The vehicle choice was not hers'. Her dad bought it!"

          "But, I think I'm right. Edward is her beard. You know that song 'She Likes Girls'? Yeah, that was written about her."

          "That's not true!"

          "It could be!"

-

          Later that night, Savannah sat in the living room with her family. They had just finished dinner and were now watching a new episode of a horror television show. If there was one thing they all had in common, it was the love of horror.

          Although one of the most gruesome scenes of the show was playing, Savannah's mind was someplace else. Her eyes weren't even on the television, they were lazily watching her dog, Decaprio, sleep on a pile of clean and unfolded towels.

          "Commercial break," Samuel announced as the scene ended, "I'm gonna piss."

          This was her chance, her chance to ask her parents about going to the pride parade. The more she thought about it throughout the day, the more she doubted her parents' answer. Like mentioned before, they were very overprotective; especially after their daughter's suicide attempt.

          "Are you okay, Sav? You've been quiet all night," her mother observed. She was wrapped in a throw blanket that matched the decor sitting around the room.

          "Yeah, I'm fine," Savannah replied as she nervously fiddled with her fingers. Anxiety boiled in the pit of her stomach, waiting to overflow. She decided this was the best time to ask, "so um, Carson invited me to a parade on Saturday."

          "What kind of parade?" Her dad asked, making way into the conversation. He respected when Savannah and her mom had talks, not like to get into their business. But when it came to his daughter going somewhere, that's when it became his business.

          "A pride parade. Carson's friend, Bianca, bought tickets and someone ended up not being able to go. So, they invited me," she explained, nervously fiddling with her fingers.

          "Will there be any adult supervision?"

          "Yeah, Jackie's-a friend who is going-mom. Carson told me that she brings this flag to make sure no one gets lost and makes them wear neon tee-shirts."

          "I think we should meet her before we let you go," her dad said, "how about we invite all your friend's and their parents over before the parade? We can meet all of them since it seems like you'll be with them a lot."

          "And, because we know Carson, you'll probably get to go. We just want to make sure these parents are going to do what's safe and right for you."

          Immediately, Savannah jumped from the couch and rushed upstairs to her bedroom. The tips of her fingers shook with excitement as she created a group chat with her new friends. She hadn't felt this happy for the longest time, and god did she miss it. Never had she been this excited to hang out with people.

          It was normal for the group to take a while to respond. Carson was always at work, Jackie, Wes, and Zach were preparing speeches for a contest the school was holding; it was mandatory, and since Bianca was the only junior in the group, she was constantly applying to colleges and studying for the PSAT's.

          Savannah sat at the edge of her bed in impatiently. The bed was shaking slightly due to her knees bouncing uncontrollably. She liked her new friends and she knew they liked her. But, the anxiety always knew how to doubt everything. Do they really like you? Are you sure they aren't just tolerating to be around you because they pity you? They're probably all going to find excuses to not be around you any longer than they already have to.

          Shaking her head, Savannah began to fight those thoughts. 'Yes, they do really like me; they told me so'. 'No one pities me because only Carson knows about my history and promised to never tell a single soul'. 'If they were going to make up a reason not to be around me, then why did was I invited to go to a parade with them?'.

          After for what seemed like hours, a message appeared on the phone. Biting her lip in anticipation, she read what someone said.

          Wes: That sounds gr8! My parents wanted to do the same thing for discussing "rules" with Jackie's mom

          Jackie: Same. She's texting your guys' parents about meeting up at my house before the parade. I'll let you know what the plans are Sav once everything is official :)

          Bianca: Carson and I are in too. When we get off work, we're gonna talk to our parents.

          Wait. Carson and I? Since when did they work together? Why didn't Carson mention it? Most importantly, why was Savannah so focused on it? Jealousy was an emotion she never felt often; it was usually over someone else's appearance or confidence. Never when someone she had feelings for was with another person.

          Although Carson did say her and Bianca were more like sisters than anything else, Savannah couldn't help but feel insecure. The thought of them together romantically created a false image. Negative thoughts corrupted her mind and she didn't fight against them.

         While she slowly let the negative thoughts overpower her, another message lit up the phone screen.

          Carson: i just got off of work ugh but i couldn't stop thinking about the fact you said bella wasn't gay! she is the definition of lesbian. i will never end this debate until you agree with me

          Like a plastic bag floating in the wind, the doubtful remarks went away. A wide smile crept up Savannah's lips as she stared at the message. Her heart skipped a beat when seeing Carson's name, alone on the top of the screen.

          Oh, the craziest things you feel when falling in love.

-

I don't know if anyone is even reading this story but the main reason why I have been is to help me cope when I'm depressed and/or anxious. So, maybe reading it can help the people who read this also.