Worth It

Chapter 30: Clear the Room

"Wow. What a way to flip it. You dropped fucking missiles on me all day yesterday, the first time I've ever spoken to you out of turn might I add, and all of a sudden I'm the tyrant. Our relationship was solid before yesterday. Everything about this is your fault. So how dare you try to make it appear as if I'm the disrespectful one when clearly I'm the one being disrespected. You weren't keeping it honest with none of us and I'm pissed about it, so hell yeah you gon' hear my mouth."

"Wheeew," Terrance whistled. The rest of my siblings sat uncomfortably.

My mom adjusted her seating position and leaned her elbow on the arm rest. She leaned forward and glared at me. "Clear the room," she said to my siblings, though never taking her eyes off of me.

Everyone quickly got up and scurried out of the room.

"If you are going to continue to hold on to this and be disrespectful we can discontinue this relationship now."

"You haven't even given me time to adjust. It's only been a day. It would be unfair of you to ask any of us to move on from this and resume our lives like nothing happened. I mean, seriously, what world do you live in where people just get over stuff like this at the drop of a hat? You're asking for too much. It's not realistic."

"Well you better figure it out, because I'm not doing this with you every time we're in the same room together. No one else is acting like this."

I leaned forward. "They're still processing," I said slowly. "And while I still need more time myself, I did receive this information ahead of them. So," I shrugged.

"See all of that was unnecessary."

"No. You're unnecessary," I snapped back.

"Little girl. I'm warning you. Get rid of this insolent behavior or you will live to regret it."

"Well consider this relationship," I said pointing between her and I, "severed."

"So that's it? You're not even gonna try?"

I groaned and leaned frustratedly back into the sofa. "I need time to be angry. I'm disgruntled ma and you are refusing me the proper amount of time to deal with this, because you can't handle me being mad at you!"

"That's not true," she said in a hushed tone. Her eyes were watery.

"Then what is it!"

"Okay. Maybe that is it," she said quickly. I huffed and rolled my eyes.

"But I never meant for any of this to get out. I knew I wouldn't be able to handle the rejection and the heartbreak." She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry." She covered her face with her hands for a moment. She wiped her tears away and placed both hands together pointing them at me. "I just want you to forgive me."

"I need more time."

She looked up at the ceiling and exhaled. She looked back at me. "Fine."

We sat in a record breaking silence; almost ten minutes. I looked over at her, now, stoic face.

"I want to meet him."

She quickly looked up at me. "Who?"

"My biological father."

She looked flummoxed. "What? Why?"

I gave her that same perplexed look back. "Because he's my father. I have a right to know him."

"Right. Sorry." She cleared her throat.

"You know what," I said standing up, "forget it. You probably haven't spoken to him in years and it's probably awkward that I asked. I'm sorry."