Reflections

Reflections on Brene Brown's "Daring Greatly," Positive Self Talk

Dear Journal,

I have been reading Brene Brown's book, "Daring Greatly" and it deals with the topic of "foreboding joy," and how gratitude is an antidote to foreboding joy. I feel like I have been foreboding joy a tonne this year, and I have really struggled in taking the time to write down the things that have made the days awesome, aside from McGraw and friends. But really, in uni, it was the wealth of friends that made me happy/joyful. I have always been an artist, with an artist heart that bleeds too much.

The world will tell you, and people will tell you, that you are not good enough. But it is a built in, ingrained idea of society to tell absolutely normal humans, "You are not good enough." "You do not have enough." "You are not enough." This is something I learned since reading Radical Gratitude by Mary Jo Leddy. If I approach the world from this place, I will not get anywhere. If I label myself and condemn myself, I will not get anywhere. But if I approach the world and all it has to offer me with this "enoughness" idea, that I am a sufficient, whole human being, yes, with a disability, but with an awesome personality, a love of learning, and a passion to succeed in a job setting...I am going to be that much more likely to succeed in both life and interviews. Yes, I have been kicked where it hurts, and told both directly and indirectly that I am not good enough by the world and by jobs. But I have never let this stop me before. I need to accept my limitations, and use those to my advantage. I have the support of parents who are willing to pay for the TESL course, for goodness sake. I am doing a lot of good things for people, and I am enough to my friends and my boyfriend, even without a job. My driving instructor is right: I need to have faith in myself, at the same time as having faith in God, and look at all that I have done thus far.

God has equipped me for a job, and it is out there somewhere. But this job will not land in my lap, and I will need to prepare and work for it.

Turns out, attitude is everything in this silly world. I mean, if your attitude stinks, or you approach an interview from the place of, "I am not good enough," then you are going to lose the interview. But if you know you are competent in the areas you are applying for, or even if you are not sure, you either, "dazzle them with your brilliance or baffle them with your bullshit," in order to get the job.

I can love myself and have faith in myself because God loves me, and He has faith in me that I will succeed and do well. He will provide, and He has provided, resources, and job opportunities. I can't give up. And I can't waste my life. I have to keep trying.