Smoke and Mirrors ▹ Alec Lightwood [1]

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

Mark crouched down and spoke to the two of them in a low, calming voice. It reminded Adrian of the way Maryse used to speak to him, when he woke up from a nightmare when he was younger and immediately went to her for comfort. It had only lasted a year before it had stopped, before the wall between them started being built, but it stuck with him regardless. He chewed on his bottom lip as Livvy seemed to answer all of Mark's questions. Ty was still reading his book—or he was still looking at it, at least—but Adrian had the feeling he was hearing every word Mark was saying. Adrian didn't bother trying to hear it. His only concern was making sure Livvy and Ty were safe and stayed that way.

When he noticed Mark rising to his feet, Adrian disappeared into the hallway and waited. He didn't speak until Mark was closing the bedroom door behind him.

"Okay, here's the deal," Adrian said immediately. "They can stay alone as long as they don't cause trouble, but there has to be at least two people keeping an ear out at all times. You're going to be one of them." Mark nodded. He didn't look surprised, just relieved that Adrian wasn't going to force Ty into a room full of strangers. Adrian thought it was best to keep the children as calm as possible, and if a few needed to be off on their own in order to be calm, then so be it. "You're responsible for them, Mark." Adrian turned to go back downstairs, but stopped when Mark spoke.

"But—" Mark broke off when Adrian turned back toward him, biting his bottom lip as he hesitated. Adrian raised his eyebrows, and Mark sighed. "Julian, Dru, Tavvy—and Emma—I need to watch them too and—" Adrian was suddenly struck with how young Mark was. He was far too young to be watching over all his younger siblings, and the young Carstairs girl, by himself. He could handle the twins just fine, but Adrian didn't think he could handle the rest of them. Not without Helen.

"Just worry about Ty and Livvy," Adrian said gently. "Julian and Emma are old enough to watch over themselves. I'll keep an eye on Dru, and I'll keep Tavvy close. Don't worry about them, Mark. They'll be fine." Mark hesitated, then offered a slow nod and released a low sigh.

"Can I ask you something?" Mark asked after a moment. Something in his voice made Adrian pause, made him tilt his head in curiosity. Mark fidgeted and averted his gaze, training his eyes on the patterned rug beneath their feet. He rocked back on his heels once, then released another sigh. This one was harsher, like he was trying to build up his nerve. Adrian waited. He had a feeling he knew what Mark was about to ask about. He had received a lot of looks since his public kiss with Alec—not all of them were friendly—and in the past few hours, he had walked in on a bunch of hushed conversations that had all went silent when they saw him.

"Mark," Adrian said with a tired sigh. "Just ask."

"You kissed Alec," Mark said. It wasn't phrased as a question, but Adrian nodded anyway. "I'm not going to ask why, I'm not an idiot, but—how long have you known?" Adrian was taken aback by the question. Mark confused his surprise with confusion and clarified. "How long did you know that you were attracted to—to guys? How did you know?" Red was seeping into Mark's cheeks. Adrian opened his mouth, closed it, then took his time to construct an answer that was simple and easy to understand, despite the fact that him figuring out his feelings hadn't been at all easy or simple.

"I was always more drawn to guys than girls," he said at last, shrugging his shoulders and easing the tension out of them. "It wasn't...well, it wasn't easy to figure out, but I had good friends around me to help me understand. I can't really explain how I knew, Mark," Adrian admitted, shoulder sagging. "One day, something just clicked. As for how long...a few years now." He waited for Mark to respond, but when he did nothing but look at the floor beneath his feet, Adrian nodded and tried not to show how awkward he felt. "Right. Well, if you need anything, I'll be downstairs."