I wish that my life wouldn't be such a lie, that I wouldn't have to fake everything and pretend that it'll be alright because I know it won't. I keep waking up everyday knowing it will all be the same. I may always be around people but I feel ALONE, I feel left out. I don't even know what I've become, when I look in the mirror I see that girl, that stranger who can't fight anymore who's just a chess pawn played by the powerful, a girl who's just influenced by those people. She's not that cute little girl full of joy anymore. She's this robot that follows the trends, pretends or at least tries to be cool so she can hang out with the popular kids. In front of other people I pretend like everything is fine like I'm happy but deep down I know that it's not true I know I want to hurt myself but I can't. Not because I don't have the guts but because I don't want to hurt anyone else. I try to tell myself that I'm fine that it's all gonna go soon but it never goes. It stays and hunts you down until it gets you. It almost had my best friend but people came to her rescue and I wasn't one of them. I was too busy pretending to be sick so i wouldn't have to go to school. I was to busy staying in bed crying instead of being there for my from. You want to know the worst part about it. Well here it is anyways: I knew that she (my best friend) was going to do something, to try to hurt herself and I wanted to tell someone but I didn't have the guts and because I couldn't protect her she almost killed herself because I didn't care enough I almost lost her. What if she had succeded it would've been my fault. All the tears of the people that loved her would've been on me because I didn't do anything. Here this is my truth.
I'll be updating every 2 days.
