Until Silence

Can you see me taking titles from songs because I have zero imagination? :D also does that count as plagiarism?
This piece was written in May of 2016. I've been meaning to turn it into a fic with several chapters and create some kind of backstory but never really got around to it. So yeah, there you go, a depressing tuorja one shot.
Thanks for the cover, LostNorthernnStar! ❤️

Tarja had had quite a productive morning and peaceful afternoon. Having sent Naomi and Marcelo to the park, she spent this time working on a song she wanted to include in a new album. After recording the melody she decided to take a break and went to the kitchen, intending to make herself a cup of delicious tea.
Tarja sat on the sofa and opened a book she was reading, placing the cup of tea on the small coffee table. Her peace was soon roughly interrupted by hectic ringing of the doorbell. Frowning, the singer stood up and went to the door, wondering who it might've been, she didn't expect any visitors. After hesitating a little, Tarja opened the door and her gaze fell on a man she least expected to see. The small blond man smiled sadly at her.
"Hi."
Tarja's eyebrows went up.
  "Emppu. Long time no see. What brings you here?" She said coldly.
"Tarja, we need to talk, let me in." The guitarist said in a voice that scared the woman. She quickly stepped aside, letting Emppu enter. She guided him to the living room and offered tea or coffee, but he declined.
"So?" Tarja asked anxiously. "What is it?" Emppu cast her an apologetic look.
  "Look, I hate to be the one who brings the news to you... But he... I..." His voice faded. Tarja's heart was hammering in her chest. She knew things were really bad, when even Emppu couldn't find words or didn't joke.
"Just say it." Tarja demanded, trying to keep her voice steady, but failing miserably.
  "God damn it! It's not easy for me to talk!" Emppu cried out in desperation. "Just... Just read this." The guitarist handed the woman an envelope, with only two words written on it. Tarja didn't have to look twice to understand who it was from. She recognized the beautiful handwriting and her heart clenched. She smirked bitterly, "Last letter he wrote for me didn't contain good news. Let's see how this piece of paper will change my life."
Emppu just sighed. "Read," He said and leaned against the wall. Tarja tore the envelope bearing "For Tarja" on it open, and threw it on the table carelessly. Her trembling hands opened a piece of folded paper and she started to read.
  "Tarja," the letter said,
"I don't even know how to begin this letter. I know there's only one thing I want to tell you, but the letter demands introduction. By the time you read this it'll be too late to change anything and that's the way it should be. Anyway, I'm writing this in a hospital." Hospital?! What was he doing there? Fear crept into her heart. "Knowing I would never have courage to say this to you face-to-face I decided to write you a letter. I can imagine you right now, holding this paper and skimming the text with your beautiful green eyes. You still don't know that when you're reading this, I'm already dead." Tarja's head jerked up roughly and she looked at Emppu with wide eyes.
"Dead?" She whispered. "He can't be serious."
The man just nodded with grim expression.
"No... No!" Tarja cried out, stumbling forward and clenching the table for support. "It's not true, I don't believe it!"
"Read," Emppu repeated softly. The singer fell on the sofa, pain in the eyes that stared straight ahead of her, seeing nothing.
"Is it true?" She whispered, looking up at Emppu with teary eyes. He merely nodded. Tarja let out a sob, tears started to stream down the singer's face, but she soon regained control and forced herself to look at the letter again.
"I wish you were here with me now. I wish I could die with your face in front of me; I wish I could see those magnificent eyes again, feel warmth of your hand and receive one of those heart-warming smiles of yours. Sadly, instead, I will be dying with your name on my lips. The one thing I regret the most was kicking you out of my life free-willingly. You cannot imagine the hell I went through after losing you. I know, I know it's my fault entirely. I had the misfortune of falling in love with you." Tarja was trembling from head to feet now. "I've been carrying this sacred love for you in my heart since we've first met and this love is still living in my heart. It will be there until my last breath. My whole life I have been living with hope of seeing you again one day, but it was not destined. Two weeks from now, I will be dying with hope of meeting with you in heaven. One day you will come to me there, and I'll be waiting for you. Goodbye my angel, my only true love.
Forever yours,
Tuomas."
Tarja lowered the paper and breathed heavily.
"When..?" She managed to blurt out.
"Three days ago." Emppu replied. The singer buried her head in her hands. The blond man walked over and sat down next to her, wrapping his arm around her. Tarja turned and hugged him, buried her face in nape of his neck and sobs shook her body. Emppu just caressed her back and eventually, tears started to fall from his eyes as well. So they sat, two childhood friends, reunited by loss and pain, crying in arms of each other. Finally, Tarja managed to calm down a little and raised her head.
"Why didn't I know earlier? Why didn't I know that he was going to die?"
"That was his wish." The man gave back. "He didn't want you to know, he only wanted you to find out after... after burial. He wrote the letter and asked me to be the messenger, because according to his own words, I was the one you'd agree to talk to." The woman nodded understandingly.
"Was he... Was he in pain?"
"No. He died peacefully and his last word was your name."
Tarja suppressed a heavy sigh. "I didn't even manage to say goodbye. We parted as enemies, I didn't even ask for forgiveness for my idiotic behavior."
The blond man hugged her once again. "He had forgiven you long ago."
They stayed quiet for a while, both thinking about their own stuff, but their thoughts eventually coming to Tuomas. Suddenly Tarja raised her head and looked at Emppu.
"When are you flying back?"
"This evening," The guitarist responded, puzzled.
"I'm coming with you." Tarja stood up quickly and started pacing back and forth. "I'll buy ticket, if there's any and come with you... I need to go there; I need to see his grave, at least." Emppu started at her wide-mouthed, surprised by the change in the woman. Just minutes ago she seemed exhausted, worn out from mourning and now she was full of energy, devastated, but full of determination.
Few hours later, Emppu and Tarja boarded plane flying from Buenos-Aires straight to Helsinki. The flight was long and dull; the singer sat in the last row of seats, while Emppu's seat was located somewhere in the middle. The woman had nobody to talk to, but it didn't bother her, she didn't want to talk anyway. She sat staring in front of herself, remembering every moment she had spent with Tuomas. The man had loved her – she had always known that. She had been his first love, she knew that too. Quite often, that made her feel guilty, for she had never felt the same for him. Tarja sighed. Maybe if she had loved him, things would have turned out in a completely different way. But she couldn't. She just couldn't force herself. He had been her best friend, but nothing more.