Fuck You - Bill Skarsgard

One

"If you want me, you will never speak to her or see her again. If you want to do those things, you will never speak to me or see me again. Still sure about you choice?"

"Of course, yes, she's gone. I swear."

"Do it now."

He swallowed hard and grabbed his phone, his hands shaking the entire time.

"Bill, do you have feelings for her?"

"No, no I could never."

"Now is the time to admit it. You need to tell me the absolute truth right now."

"I know that I love you.." he trailed off and averted his gaze from mine, "but I just feel really close to her for some reason. She's like my best friend, I feel like a part of me would be missing if I were to just completely close her off."

"You've made your choice then," I closed my eyes tightly to keep the tears from escaping without my consent.

"No," he grabbed my hand before I could turn to leave the room, "I can't lose you. Please understand how hard this is for me."

"It's easy, Bill. If you love me and want this to work, you'll get rid of anything that stands in the way of our relationship. This isn't just a crush, someone you've randomly fantasized about in your bunk when you're lonely. You've slept with her more than once. There is a connection between the two of you."

"That's why it's hard."

"Because there's a connection? That's because you have feelings. If you have feelings for someone while you're in a relationship you aren't fully committed and you aren't really in love with that person."

"That isn't true, I am in love with you. It's different with her."

"No, Bill, it isn't. Tell me right now, can you erase her from your life?"

"That's not fair."

"So the answer is no?"

"I can't just toss her to the curb like that."

"So you cannot erase her from your life completely?"

"No."

He couldn't look at me. His green eyes were glued to the ground and I wanted nothing more than for him to say it was just a stupid mistake and that he loved me and that she was nothing. He couldn't though. Despite whatever he said, whatever feelings he had for me, he had them for her too. They were different, they were probably stronger. The tears threatened to fall again.

"I really thought you were the love of my life and I don't even think that's a thing. I never bought into the idea of soulmates until I met you. I knew going into this would be hard because you're fucking famous," my voice wavered slightly, "but I thought we could make it work because you were the one."

Bill's cheeks reddened and he couldn't make direct eye contact with me. I knew it was over and I knew that I would spend who knows how long trying to get over the fact that I had lost him because I wasn't able to travel the world by his side.

"You were the one. Not now though, now your feelings are for someone else and I can't do anything about it. I love you so much and I wish it was enough but it just isn't."

"I never meant for this happen. I never wanted to hurt you."

It was an admission of guilt. Bill had fallen in love with someone else while I was on the other side of the world and there was nothing I could do about it. All I could do was let him go and try to put myself back together, post Bill Skarsgard.