There is silence and Louis notices how tense Harry gets next to him “Yeah, hope it gets better.” Harry’s tone is calm and low as if he was speaking to the air.
“I remember on seventh grade having a girl on my class whose parents got divorced and she was calm and looked just fine.”
“It’s different for each person… probably.”
Louis looks at Harry attentively attempting to read his expression but it’s impossible “Hm, maybe you’re right.” He decides to say and a few minutes later he decides to speak again “You know my English teacher?” it’s a rhetoric question “You know that her class is actually the one I pay attention and like the most because she’s just crazy yeah? So yesterday we were, like, reading a text and she decided to-“
“Louis…”
“Yeah?” Louis looks at the side at Harry, still with a grin in his face due the story he was about to tell
“Like… I wanted to be alone.” Harry says, as simple as that. He isn’t cold nor harsh, he definitely isn’t but for Louis, god, for Louis those words hit him in a painful way.
He just, he is not used to it anymore. Listen to those words every day and now he has been listening to them so many times. Not this direct, no. Harry is usually softer with the way he tells Louis to leave like, I want to sleep because I’m kinda tired, Louis is fine with that, he wants Harry to rest properly or my parents are coming we don’t want to get in troubles, Louis understands. But these specific words… it’s almost as if he’s saying leave me alone.
“What?” He still asks because he wants to make Harry to change his mind. Louis doesn’t want to leave Harry especially in the times he wants Louis to leave. Those are the worst
“I-You... can you leave?” Harry asks leaving a sight escaping his lips after some long seconds with no response. Louis frowns and both sit up on the bed at the same time. Harry isn’t meeting Louis’ gaze and it’s probably because he knows how Louis is looking.
“Ouch.”
“I’m sorry.” He knows Harry is sorry but it’s still a pain in the ass listening to his best friend saying this “I’m sorry, Lou. I just want to be alone. In silence, okay? Please.” Harry speaks fast as if he was trying his best to cheer Louis up and make it not sound that harsh. To make Louis hear his point as fast as he can
“All right.” Louis says and maybe he is too dry and maybe he should have insisted with Harry and maybe make him talk to him and beg him – yes Louis is almost reaching this point – to tell him what’s been wrong with him because, damn, he’s his best friend and he cares so much that all this situation eats him on the inside. Even his bones hurt.
Louis crawls out of the bed and Harry watches him. Harry watches him but Louis tries to ignore or he’ll just embarrass himself. He knows that everything he says will be in vain, Harry won’t speak. He still feels like Harry doesn’t trust him and that’s not only pissing him off but also making him sad. Not to the point of crying, but to the point of throwing pillows against the wall and screaming under the blankets and that’s just worse.
“Lou?” Louis hears when he is picking his backpack and jacket from the floor. He turns around, a part of him hopes that Harry is going to talk to him, going to tell him to stay because Louis doesn’t want leave him, he wants to stay and hug Harry till he feels safe and okay and happy… oh Louis wants Harry happy. “I’m sorry.”
Louis nods “I know.” And me too, Louis wants to say but leaves Harry like he wished to because that’s what he always does.
~*~
7 - Petal of a flower
Start from the beginning
