Worth It

Chapter 26: Curveball

"Who's going in to see him first," Mya asked.

"I am," our mother said standing up.

"And why should we let you go first," I snapped.

"Alyssa chill," Terrance said to me. "It's cool. She'll go first and then we'll go after her. No biggie."

"I just need to see him," she said tearing up. Everyone encouraged her to go.

"I don't trust her for a second."

"Yo Lys. Whatever the hell you know, you better spill it," Faye said to me.

I exhaled. "Not here. It's too many ears. If y'all want, y'all can come to my place later and we'll hash everything out then."

"Sounds like a sleepover to me," Mya grinned as she hugged me. I couldn't help but smile. Although she was just nineteen, she had this air of innocence about her that was so refreshing.

"So is everyone down," I questioned.

"Shit. I'm in," Keyona shrugged.

"Me too," said Tyreek.

Terrance nodded his head. "Yeah."

"Hell yeah I'm down," Faye said to me. "Just text me the address. I'm the only one who don't know it. I'm bout to make surprise pop-ups to the crib whenever I'm in town," he teased.

Terrance and Tyreek laughed. "Don't do that," they warned.

I laughed. "Chill. Faye don't have a key."

"True. True," they laughed.

"Wait. What happened," Faye asked.

Terrance, Ty, Kevin, and I looked at one another. "Nothing," we all said in unison. Scattered laughter came from the four of us.

After a mere ten minutes our mother had returned from visiting with dad. She asked to speak with me privately. I reluctantly complied. I followed her away from everyone else. I stood silently and waited for her to speak.

"You should know something," she said staring at me. She was silent for what seemed like an eternity.

"Am I supposed to guess what you're going to say or should I just read your mind? Why aren't you saying anything?"

She genuinely looked hesitant to speak, nonetheless she started talking anyway. "When you were a little girl," she started, "I've always wanted the best for you. Whatever I did, I did it because I loved you---"

"MmMm," I said shaking my head. "Nope. I don't do all that beating around the bush shit. Just spit it out ma."

"You're n---" she paused and looked down at the floor. She shifted from one foot to the other. She looked backed up at me and cleared her throat. "Um. What I'm trynna say is---Your dad is not your biological father," she said slowly.

"I'm sorry. What?" The nauseous feeling returned. "I need to sit down," I said as I found the nearest chair.

"Me and your dad were raising four kids with no help and we were dirt poor. Your dad could barely afford supplies to further his career as an artist. We didn't know how we were gonna make it from one day to the next. One night we had gotten into a huge argument about money. We couldn't decide if we should save up for a new house or fix up the one we already lived in, which seems so trivial now when I think about it," she said recalling the memory. "I stormed out of the house. I was so angry with him. I came across a little bar about an hour from our house. I got drunk and ended up having a one night stand with," she paused, "an old friend. I felt guilty about it immediately after and I've always regretted that night. A few weeks later I started feeling sick. Everything made me nauseous. I couldn't keep anything down. I went to my doctor for my routinely check up and she told me I was pregnant. Initially I was confused, because me and your dad hadn't," she looked away---"but then I remembered the guy from three weeks prior and knew that it was his and not Aimé's."

"So let me guess. You convinced dad to have sex with you, that day, as a cover up, and then poof! You're pregnant!"

"Alyssa, if I would have told him about the pregnancy at the time I found out he would have put two and two together and figured out that I had an affair. He would have left me. I wanted to tell him, but never worked up the courage. Before I knew it, you were born. The moment you came into the world his career took off and I knew that if I told him the truth then, he would never recover and neither would his career."

"How could you keep this from me," I said as I profusely wiped the tears from my face.

"I could never find the right time."

"And you think now is the right time! Look around ma! Look at where we are! We're in a damn hospital, because dad had a heart attack that you probably caused!"

"I know it's not ideal, but it's better late than never."

"Better late than never! That's the logic you're using," I scoffed. "Ya know, you've been dumpin' a lot of shit on me today," I said wiping my eyes. "Anything else you want to get off your chest since you wanna be revealing secrets and shit!"

"I need you to know that at one point I loved him. It was a mistake that I've regretted for years."

"Yeah and you're ready to do it all over again with this one," I said pointing to her stomach. "You can't be that sorry about the past, if you've literally just repeated it. To get pregnant outside of your marriage twice is not a mistake. It's just irresponsible." I stood up from my seat. "I really hope that you do right by this one."

"Do right by this one," she scoffed. "I've done right by you. You had a great life. You've gone to the best schools, ate the best food, traveled the world."

"I meant honesty ma. Like telling them the truth about their father and not waiting until they're in a hospital hoping that the man who raised them has a few good years left in him."

I walked away from her and headed towards the elevator. I pressed the up button and waited anxiously.

"Alyssa," Kevin called out to me as he ran in my direction. He caught me right before the elevator doors closed and slid inside. One look at my face and he hit the emergency stop button.

"Baby what's wrong," he said as he rushed over to me. I started to speak, but I became nauseous again. Before I knew it, my legs gave out, everything was spinning, and I was falling.
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