Why does it always have to be me? I'm always the one left out, left to rust, left to beat myself up. One day can I please just have a break? A point of happiness would be best in my situation. I just want to be happy, and I've never really asked for much except for that. Maybe in a different way than most, but still the same thing. I don't pray to a god that doesn't exist. I don't shoot anyone, nor do I ask for peace. I don't laugh when I'm scared, or cry when I'm happy. I simply sit. I sit and ask a million unanswerable questions about myself and the world around me.
When I was a child, I would eat raw eggs out of the fridge because I was so hungry. I would scream and cry for the attention my mother would never give me. As I grew older I figured out I didn't have a father. I was given to my great Aunt and Uncle. They took me in as their own, yet I still wasn't satisfied. I wanted a real family, and I do even more now. Now more than ever I want that perfect life I know I will never be able to have.
As I matured i realized the world is a cold place. Colder than the coldest place there. I developed a great anxiety about myself, and a great depression worse than the one in America. These two things would become my baseline for my feelings, and would grow to become my downfall. I know a lot of people may believe I've been doing better, but no. I have been doing worse than ever. I have become a complete monster. The rage, the passion, the fire inside me will continue to grow until I can't stand it anymore. It's only a matter of time.
