Is the Universe Infinite?

Prelude: THE BEGINNING OF MY END

QUEENS, NEW YORK; MONDAY, JANUARY 1ST, 2018 9:30 A.M. 

DEPARTMENT NO. 99 HON. WILLIAMS B. THOMAS, JUDGE

APPEARANCES: (APPEARANCES AS HERETOFORE NOTED.)

(JANICE R. MIRIAM, CSR NO. 3000, OFFICIAL REPORTER.)

(THE FOLLOWING PROCEEDINGS WERE HELD IN OPEN COURT, IN THE PRESENCE OF THE JURY:)

"The record should reflect that the defendant is present before the court with his counsel, Mr. Byers, and his daughter, Ms. Martin. The jury is present," announced the judge with a stoney face. He continued to drone on, "Mr. Martin, you had a witness with compelling testimony you wanted to bring before the court?"

"Yes, your honor." My father replied proudly. "My daughter and god are my only witnesses."

The judge heaved a hefty sigh, "All righty then." Lowering his glasses, he asked curiously as he peered out into the audience present in the courtroom, "Where is your daughter?"

I was seated in the very back of the courtroom. For dramatic effect, I stood up, "I am here, your honor." I audibly gulped as I inched towards the front of the courtroom and slowly walked towards the witness stand, a wooden pulpit so small it was practically designed to constrict you like a python wrapping around its prey. 

"Would you please state your name for the court?" The judge said.

Why is this happening to me of all people? I guess I have to come clean today. Justice ought to be served.

"Daniella Sienna Martin," I choked out, my throat suddenly getting dryer and dryer by the minute. Okay, maybe if I tell a tiny lie it will be fine.

"Do you solemnly swear that you will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?" The judge recited in a monotone.

Then I thought, who would even believe me if I told the truth? I will just sound crazy. I have to lie, it's the most reasonable course of action.

A bible was positioned on the slab of wood below me. I hovered my hands right above its cover and glanced back at the people seated in the courtroom. Maybe if I don't actually physically touch it, I won't go to hell or worse, prison for perjury?

Still standing, I breathed, "I swear."

The prosecution, a skinny man named Nigel Wallmocker with crooked glasses and an oversized suit that looked like it was recently dry cleaned immediately burst up in his chair. "Her hands, your honor!" 

I swear to god, Nigel. I almost reflexively edged myself forward, motioning to lunge at his stupid face. Act cool, I told myself. I quickly dropped my right hand on the bible and smiled innocently at the jury, "I'm just nervous. I apologize."

"That is quite all right, Ms. Martin," replied Judge Williams.

Screw you, Nigel.

"Please be seated," the judge groaned, staring directly at me before he opened the highest file perched atop the mountain of manila folders in front of him. "That goes for you too, Nigel." He paused, "Now..."

I quickly sat down.

"For the record, the court may now hear the testimony of Ms. Daniella Martin. Ms. Martin, if you will, please provide your honest account regarding any information you may have about the allegations brought before your father today. Can you do that, kid?" Judge Williams said about as gingerly as he could muster. He stared me down like I was a bubble about to burst.

Is anyone feeling hot in here? Or is that just my body preparing for the treacherous temperatures of inferno? I inched my mouth closer to the microphone that I only recently noticed. "Yes, your honor..." I squeaked.

The ladies and gentlemen seated in the audience were curious as to what I had to say. There weren't many in the room, considering how early it was in the morning. Good, I thought. There are less people present to bear witness to what would be the most embarrassing account of facts ever recalled in a sworn testimony.

I closed my eyes before the burning words rolled off my tongue. "It all started when my cat began to speak to me."

Silence.

The courtroom fell shockingly silent and then it immediately roared in laughter, like waves rocking against a sea shore.

"Oh, for fucks sake!" My father screamed, now standing with his hands gripping the bench-the only thing blocking him from lunging forwards- as he glared directly at me. 

The court's official reporter, a poor elderly woman who I believe was named Miriam and looked as if her last break was in the 1960's, had previously been clicking and clacking away at her typewriter (can you believe we still use those?) but she stopped dead in her tracks.

The jurors, a group of people I decided to fixate my attention on instead of my fuming father, were looking at me like a dragon emerged from my neck and I was breathing fire. 

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN IN THE AUDIENCE," roared Judge Williams, hammering away with his gavel. 

"Let me remind you that any reaction or gestures made during these court sessions, especially while the jury is here, are inappropriate and will result in your expulsion from the courtroom. Now, please start from the very beginning, Ms. Martin and no bullshitting me, you made an oath and I am very sleep deprived." He raised his eyebrows, meaning no funny business.

"Of course, your honor." I hurriedly insisted. "No bullshitting, your honor."

And so it begins, here is my story.