Abused (One Tree Hill FanFiction)

Chapter One: A New Beginning

I am a damaged person. 

I know how that sounds; dramatic as hell, right? If you knew my past though, damaged is an understatement. 

I am a broken individual.

It's as if someone had been holding a glass plate and let it slip from their grasp, shattering it into a million pieces. The pieces of that plate represent my world entirely. I have never known anything solid and whole, just those fragments of what my life could be like if I had any stability in it.

I am deprived of normality.

What even does the word normal even mean? I wouldn't know. It is not something I'm very familiar with; the complexity of my life has interfered with that. 

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I recently moved in with my mom because... well that's a long story. I might explain it later. Anyway, new state means new school. 

I am not scared of being at a new school because I will have to make new friends. I am scared of going to a new school because I do not want attention. Students who move to a new school that isn't exactly what I'd consider big, get more attention than those who move to huge schools.

North Carolina seems nice enough though. It's way better than the ghetto areas of California that my dad always seemed to either live in or be involved with.

Tree Hill High however, is not some place I'd prefer to attend. Everyone seems to have their own groups, even the outcasts. No one was completely alone. I have not officially gone to this school yet, but by just looking at it you can tell that it was the type of place where everyone knew everybody's secrets. Everybody's information. And for me... that was not a good thing.

I am the type of person to isolate myself and what's on my mind from everyone who shows even the slightest bit of interest in me. I do not want pity from people. I do not want people to look at me with those sad eyes because they think they can imagine what I've been through. I want people to look at me like any other person. That is part of the reason I chose to move, so I can rebuild myself and my reputation.

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I want to fit in, but I don't want to abandon myself completely. So on the first day of school, I do not wear a black beanie with black skinny jeans, black shirt, and black shoes to purposefully make myself look bland and uninteresting. Instead, I wear dark blue skinny jeans with holes ripped all the way up to my thighs, a gray off the shoulder shirt, and my black high top Converse. Yes, I had to keep something black.

I don't do anything with my hair because that's just too much effort. For once in my life, I do put on a little bit of makeup. Only mascara and lip gloss though. Again, I still don't want that much attention.

Thankfully, I have an early birthday, so I can already drive even though it's the fall of my sophomore year. I pull up to the school and park somewhere further away from all the other cars. I don't want people to see me giving myself a pep talk before I go inside. 

This is a big step for me. I do not look like the depressed, angsty teenager who has had nothing but problems her entire life. Instead, I realize that on the outside I look like someone who has never been stressed out in her entire life. My blondish, redish, brown curly hair shines in the early morning light and I feel confident, which is something I never thought I'd say.

I feel confident until I reach the doors of Tree Hill High. The moment I open them, every single head turns and looks at me. Out of habit, I immediately look down. If I make eye contact with anyone, I might have an anxiety attack. That's not how I want my first day to go. That's not how I want to be remembered and labeled.