UNIVERSE | Fanfic: Logan Paul | ✔

An Innocent Lost |32|

I've always been able to be vulnerable in front of her, and I liked-- loved, that. It makes me feel fulfilled and relaxed. But now, I feel as if a piano has been placed on my heart, threatening to make it go--kablooey! I can't appear weak to her, cause this could kill her.

"Kennedy I need you to stay calm, stay relaxed, and don't tense up." I asked her tenderly. She stood in front of me, no longer touching me, not showing any signs of what I had asked. God she's so stubborn.

"What's. Going. On." She demanded, even louder this time.

I took it in a deep, full--yet unfulfilling--breath. I scratched the back of my neck feeling the small hairs that had been freshly cut. She let out a whine and gave me a hard death glare.

"I recieved a call from Evan a few hours ago. Andy and I had stopped somewhere and met some fans." I dragged on. She tapped her foot agonizingly, it started to piss me off. "Evan had called me during and I-- JESUS CHRIST, PLEASE STOP TAPPING. YOUR. FOOT." I exclaimed mid-sentence. She looked at me, contact never breaking, as she folded her arms.

"Go on." She sassed, trying to hide her worry.

"Anywayyyy, Evan had called me during and I missed the call. Then Andy and I had finally left the situation and I called Ev back and he said that Lydia had recieved a call from the VET..." I paused exhaling as I tried holding back the tears. "H-He said..." My voice cracked. "He explained that Arya wasn't okay and isn't coming--" I started to finish, but was interrupted.

"ARYA IS DEAD!!" Evan cried. Waita' be blunt, dude. I turned to Kennedy, trying to recover from my glare towards Evan, and saw something I truly dreaded.

Nothing.

Her eyes were empty and her face was expressionless.


*Kennedys POV*

Pain.

It's a curious little thing, pain is.

One day you have it then the next you don't, it could even be for just a moment. That's Physical pain.

I am feeling Mental pain.

The pain that could take months, or even years to heal. Some cases it just never. Goes. Away.

I had no clue how to react. I felt nothing but pain-- not even that. I couldn't move, and I felt as if I was being suffocated.

I unconsciously fell to my knees, almost breaking them in the process due to my recently rapid weight gain, that was dragging me down. Logan rushed over to me, holding my head so I didn't crack it against the wood floor. He rested my head delicately on his lap. I had collapsed, yet I didn't even care.

I heard faint voices through the high-pitched sound ringing in my ear. I hadn't even realized I was sobbing until just then. I gripped Logans joggers with clenched fists as I wiped some tears on them without knowing.

I felt nothing, I was numb. Yet, I was exuding all these feelings of heartbreak and distraught.

"Kennedy, KENNEDY." Logans voice was ringing in my head as a mumble even though I recognized the panic in his voice. He was yelling.

An innocent soul was lost... Arya, was lost. Gone. In the 'afterlife'.

I was utterly speechless--I am, utterly speechless. My heart is empty.

And I feel. Absolutely.

Nothing.

I stand up, weakly. My physical body is drained from all the crying I have done in the past 15 minutes. Yes, 15 MINUTES.

I walk away from Logan, but he keeps grabbing my arm. I keep moaning and groaning for him to let go of me as I surprisingly keep breaking free. He isn't having it.

"Stop. You're going to do something stupid." He said strictly causing me to hiccup through some stray tears. My hearing's returned.

"Just let me do something stupid." I pleaded, sounding intoxicated. He scoffed grabbing my wrist.

"I can't do that because I already know what the 'something stupid' is." He argued. I gave him an all-knowing grin.

"Ohhhh yeahh? And what's that?" I sassed through more hiccups and tears.

"I don't want you to beat yourself." He cried, face now turning red. I didn't cut like most people. I would beat myself, giving myself bruises so I'd have longer lasting pain and no scars from cutting. "I can't let you do that to yourself, especially while you're pregnant." He reasoned.

"I won't punch my stomach, just my legs and my arms." I replied all loopy. He scoffed in disbelief.

"I don't want you to hurt yourself. Period." He raised his voice into more of a lecture. I glared at him, with menace in my eyes.

"You can't dictate what I do." I replied coldly hurrying up the stairs to our bedroom.

I ran in and locked the door behind me quickly. I slammed my back up against the door making sure it was locked. I felt Logan banging on the door making me cry cause I know this kills him.

But I feel nothing... and I need to feel something.

I heard him begging for me to stop on the other side of the door. Then I heard stomps leading away from the doors, letting me relax.

I got away from the door and sat on the bed, mentally preparing myself. I pulled up my left sleeve and I went at it. I cried out in pain as I began to beat myself on my arms. I then moved to thighs that were covered by my Maverick leggings. I punched my thigh over and over again.

I'm not one to physically hurt myself everytime something terrible happens. I do it when something happens that is really personal to me.

When my parents got a divorce I took it pretty well in the public. But behind closed doors I abused myself by this method.


All of the sudden, Logan bursted through the doors to see a distraught, heartbroken, and bruised me. He rushed over to me, his face pale, and he wrapped me in his arms, cradling me on the floor.

I didn't fight it. I layed there, limp, although comforted by his hold. He ran his hands through my hair, kissing my head in attempt to soothe me.

"It's gonna be alright, I'm here, always." He whispered into my ear as I was finally calming down.


》》》》》》》

Sorry this was such a depressing chapter. I just promised myself, the logang, Logan, Evan, and Arya, that I would make a dedicated chapter to this.

A hopefully lighthearted chapter will be next.

But the bliss won't last long, it will become even more tragic.

BTW, I WILL BE MAKING A CHRISTMAS CHAPTER!! 🎄🎁⛄❄

I am really excited about it because I was disappointed I didn't do a Halloween dedicated chapter. But I am finally 'caught up' to present times!

But that is all the announcements I have other than;

MY NEW BOOK IS AIRING December 25th 2017!!!


Alright, I love you all and I will see you all next time. Take it easy famm, peace!

- Sierra 🎄🎁