Tara was gone.
The place she occupied in our lives was vacant, as if she never existed, and yet we all feel her absence. Mom feels it when its time for her favorite soap and Tara isn't by her side, eagerly waiting for the plot twist. Dad feels it when he takes only one daughter to school instead of two. And finally, I feel it when I wake up and glance at her bed hopeful that it had all been a bad dream, but her bed was barren.
Dad's car stopped suddenly and I was snapped out of my thoughts. I sighed sorrowfully, we had arrived. Our friends and family were here also, dressed in all black. It was out of place in a beautiful sunny day, but at the same time it was fitting. A beautiful day should be taken to mourn the loss of someone beautiful.
They all came for you, Tara.
A strangled sob escaped from Mom, and my head snapped towards her.
Mom had been beautiful once, with pale hair and green eyes that ensnared you with one look. Tara looked like her. But now, Mom wasn't herself. Her hair was limp and dull and her eyes were murky and bloodshot.
Tara's death broke her.
Her death broke all of us more than I'd like to say, but its the truth. She'd been a vital part of our lives and without her, our family is broken.
Mom's eyes fell on meand she tried to give me a reassuring smile, but it didn't come out right. A tear escaped her lifeless eyes. She wiped it away swiftly.
"Its time, Val." Her voice was broken, just like the rest of herself.
I nodded absently, not saying a word as I stepped out of my Dad's old Mustang. Mom didn't move.
"Let's go," I said, my voice was alien even to me. Too distant. Too emotionless.
I could see why my friends thought I didn't care about Tara's death, since I didn't cry.
It was bright outside, not a single cloud in the sky, which was a calming blue. The sweltering heat hit me mercilessly.
A heavy hand set on my shoulder and I looked up. Brown eyes met my own. It was Dad.
"We should go," he said, blinking away tears.
He took Mom's hand and helped her out, closing the door afterwards. I followed my parents to the sea of black, where a large, gaping hole in the earth was already dug out.
We sat on the front row, guests stood and walked to us in pairs of two or three. Many gave their condolences, which I had to half-heartedly thank. My parents were in no condition to speak.
They were speaking to my Aunt, tears shamelessly running down their cheeks and their voice thick. I felt horrible for not crying with them about our shared loss. Did it make me a bad person? A bad sister?
"We are here today to say our last farewells to Tara Lovell," the Father's gravelly voice was heard by everyone.
I tuned out his words, I didn't want to listen. Mom grasped my hand tightly, she shook with silent sobs. Dad was openly sobbing, his unruly beard barely hiding his shimmering tears.
"Her sister has a few words to say."
I looked up, everyone was staring at me intently. Slowly, I stood up and headed towards Tara's coffin. It was white, Dad himself made it.
I unfolded the slightly wrinkled piece of paper where I had written the eulogy in advance.
"For those who don't know me, I am Tara's sister, Valerie. My sister was a wonderful person who was deeply lived by everyone, especially her fam-"
I couldn't help it.
I burst into tears.
Why do I always think of sad stuff? Moving on, I hope ya'll enjoy it.
