I Belong To You

madness

Yet another restless night. All I want to do is rest peacefully but that hasn't happened for years. The only thing to wake me up today is my annoying alarm warning me to get ready for school.

  "Great another day at a school where people are fake , teachers can care less about us, and everyone is banging someone" I breathe out as I finally decide that going to school is needed so I can finally graduate.

After sitting on my bed for what seems like forever I slip out of my big fall out boy shirt and slip on my favorite anime shirt and ripped jeans. I untangle my knotted wavy black hair not even trying to make it look nice and just put on mascara and foundation cream to hide my dark circles from my sleepless  nights.

"One day all my madness will be worth it" I think to myself as I walk out of my room and make my way to the kitchen.

"WELLL GOOD MORNING MARIE" my mom and brothers yell at me as I finally enter the kitchen.

"Ya ya good morning guys" I whisper to them .

" You really seem like in a good mood. Is everything alright?" My mom asks as she is clearly examining my whole body trying to see if I did bad to myself.

"Yeah ma I'm fine I'm just not feeling today"

"Okay well don't you start shutting down again." She says as she stares right into my eyes.

"I won't ma stop worrying about it"

Saying that felt half true and half a lie.  My mom would be the one to suffer the most when i would go into my episodes  of not talking, eating , and just constantly crying. I knew it hurt her seeing her baby girl suffering and her not being able to do it because the thing torturing her daughter is her own mind. After my last episode and seeing my mom cry because she really thought I was going to kill myself got to me and I decided to never let her see my episodes , with her I had to fake it.

"Lets get going momma before we're late to school" my little bother complains to break the awkward silence.

The whole car ride I just listened to my music and shut my eyes. Hoping to gain at least some bit of energy before I enter hell for 8 hours.

We finally get to my school and my brothers give me a goodbye kiss on my forehead which brightens my mood a little. I get out of the car and immediately put my music as loud as it can be so I can drown everyone out.  As I enter school walking to my locker I hear a loud voice coming from behind me.

"BITCH CAN'T YOU HEAR ME CALLING YOUR NAME?"

Its my best friend Karen.

"Uhhh no? My earphones are in" I say

" Well next time put your emo music down and listen to me! I have to tell you about this hot new kid at our school!"

Great. Another boy that she is itching to get at..

As she keeps blabbering about this new kid I just drown her out.  The last thing I want to here is about another "yummy" guy. 

"While you are talking to about Mr. Dreamy can you at least walk me to class ? We are gonna be late." I interrupt her

"Oh shit yeah let's go" she says

Before I can even turn around some kid bumps into me dropping all my books.

"Can you watch where you are going next time dude" I spat out as I bend down go grab my books

"Uhhh yeah sorry about that" the guy says as he reaches down to help

I look up to see who it was . I've never seen him before and you can tell he wasn't from this area. He had light shaggy  brown hair , a really defined jaw, and a 5'oclock shadow that hasn't been shaved for at least two days.

"Here" he says as he gives me my books.

He stands up so I get a better look at him. He is wearing a black beanie, grey t-shirt , black leather jacket, black ripped jeans and boots. His eyes. They are  a dark brown almost black somehow they were beautiful. He's tall , really tall maybe I'm saying that only becauae I'm 5'3 but he towers over me. Even though he had alot of clothes on you can tell her had muscle. He was attractive .. no he was beautiful. I shake my head to collect my thoughts and stop staring at him .

"Yeah thanks dude" I stutter

"I'm sorry about dumping into you" he says shyly looking down

He is really beautiful .  No . No more boys.

"Yeah just watch were you are going next time you're not the only one in the hall" I say quickly as I grab Karen's arm and walk past him and keep walking without looking back.

We reach my class and I gasp for air . I stopped breathing ? Why did I stop breathing ?

"BITCH! do you realize who that was?" Karen asks me wide eyed

"Um no? Should I ?" I say

" You must have not been listening to me earlier. You dumbass! That was Elliot Cruz the new kid!"

Hmmm  Elliot Cruz I think to myself as I remeber back to the incident that happened not even 5 minutes ago

Elliot Cruz..