perfect | ned leeds x reader

ii. the one with the crush

Ned was reading the menu to her when her phone buzzed and she sighed sadly, making him look at her. He furrowed his eyebrows together and pursed his full lips, wondering what it was that made her suddenly deflate.

"What is it?" he asked, although he was cursing himself for prying. He didn't need to seem nosey.

"Peter cancelled," she said, thumbs moving to respond.

"Oh. Well, you know how he is with that internship," he replied, trying not to let the whole crush-on-Peter thing get under his skin.

"Yeah, but now we don't have plans," she said. She huffed.

"Sure, we do," he said. He shrugged. "Look, I'll buy you a coffee and we'll go to my house and binge watch all the episodes of Friends that you want. I have Netflix, too, you know."

She smiled a small smile. "Yeah, true. Do they have hazelnut lattes, you think-?" She drummed a pointer finger against her lips. "Oh, and raspberry scones?"

"I think they have cranberry ones," he mumbled, scanning the menu.

"Eh, no thanks," she replied. "I'm looking for Central Perk worthy cafe treats here."

He snorted. "Right. Well, we can ask if they can get us a couple of lattes in those super, unnecessarily big mugs, 'cause of that one episode when Phoebe is dating that shrink, you know, and he gets mad at the cups during his tantrum?"

When she didn't respond, he looked at her. She was staring at her phone again, completely distracted, lip pulled back between her teeth.

He sighed heavily before muttering, "Or, you know, ignore me-"

She put her phone away, but she was still on the topic of Peter - of course. "He's been so distant, Ned," she said worriedly. "I mean, his uncle died just, what, four and a half months ago?" She shook her head. "And he's been so different..."

"He's fine," Ned said dismissively. He looked back at the menu, eyes burning. "Oh, they so have hazelnut coffee. Plus, you can get it with pumpkin syrup. Ooh, and look, apple cider is in season already!"

"Ned Leeds, you're not even listening to me," she hissed angrily. She yanked the menu from his hands and blew heavily. "Peter could be covering his grief with work, and that's not good! That is so not healthy!"

He couldn't take it. "I'm sure he's fine, ___, jeez! Stop being so obsessed with him and lay off. Maybe he just needs some time away from being babied all the time by you!" He gave her a look, one that he had never given her before.

She stared at him in half shock, half immediate sadness. With the the drop of her head, he filled with sadness.

He sighed. "___, I'm sorry."

She handed him the menu. "Get me a hazelnut latte, extra milk. I'm going to the bathroom." She didn't look at him as she walked towards the back of the tiny cafe.

And Ned felt horrible.

He put their orders in and picked a table surrounded by two plush armchairs by the windows, just as she liked. She loved to live the episodes of Friends as much as possible - going as far as getting the same haircuts as Monica and Phoebe and Rachel, and even naming the goldfish she had won at the fair last year Chandler. It was never-ending and always funny to him and Peter. She was a walking sitcom from the nineties, and they loved her for it.

She came back a few minutes later. He didn't say anything when he saw the paper towel balled up on her hand. He simply gestured to her latte and the plate of two scones.

"I got those for you," he said. "And hey, they're blueberry!"

"Thanks," she mumbled, plopping down in her chair. She picked one up and held it between her two fingers, just staring at it.

"___," Ned said after a moment. "I didn't mean anything, really."

"No, you're right," she said softly. "I am so annoying, huh?" She snorted, but there was no emotion in her voice. "I guess I just like Peter. As more than a friend."

He dropped his eyes, dread filling him. Of course he knew. He knew it the minute she smiled fondly instead of laughed at him when he splashed chocolate milk on the front of his jeans. He knew it all along, and yet hearing it made his heart fade out into a numb thud.

"You knew," she stated.

He forced himself to crack a smile. "I like to think I know you pretty well, ___," he said. He pretended his fingers weren't shaking as he raised his mug of cider to his lips and sipped. "It's obvious."

She grinned and cringed and groaned all at once. "Ugh, really? It's that obvious? Oh, man!" But she was happy. Her leg shook with jittery excitement as she sipped her coffee. "I don't know, he's just sweet and cute and - don't tell him I am telling you any of this, okay?"

He made a little cross motion over his heart. "Hey, your secret is safe with me," he said.

She beamed. "Thank you," she said.

And she went on, talking about how wonderful Peter made her feel, even though he hadn't done anything to make her special. Ned couldn't think of one instant where Peter spent time with her or called her pretty or went out of his way to be a great friend. It wasn't that Peter wasn't a good guy and friend, but Ned tried every day of his life to make her happy.

And yet he was just the guy she talked to.

Ned knew who he was. He was the main character, yes, but he wasn't the kind to get a happily ever after. He was the kind to get bits of happily ever afters in parts of his middles. He was Ross, grasping for a chance to get with Rachel, watching them all slip through his fingers as she chased everyone else - like Paolo or that intern or Joey or -

or anyone but him.