Lessons of the heart

Contemplations and Worries

(To help prevent confusion, the italic is always flashback, bold is always thoughts are emphasizing on a word. In this chapter the two parts in italic belong with each other. There simply are some minutes between them that I didn't feel like writing)

Everyone is troubled by something. Though that something can be so complicated one can hardly grasp it. One simply has to decide whether or not to pay any attention to it. Imagine this though: what if what you are troubled by was something so deep, it could consume you from the inside out if you don't deal with it. Yet, if you do deal with it, you might still loose yourself in a different way...

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Heine had taken a detour, having noticed the third Prince following him despite the latter trying his best to be conspicuous about it. He wasn't blind. Having lived on the streets for so long, as a kid, had taught him quite a few things. One being: always be aware of your surroundings. Spending time at the palace had forced him to be even more cautious, especially with the Princes. At first it had been only because of them and the fact that he could never be sure what they were up to. Then, it had been because they started digging in his past to find out the truth about him. When, eventually, there was little need for him to be afraid of that (mostly because they got to hear the story from their father), the need to be wary came an entirely different angle. The reason was so delicate, so frail, to even think about it would cause it to break. It might even break himself.

As he was walking down the hallways, the cold moonlight fell down on the floor in front of him before casting his shadow on the wall behind him every time he passed a window. While the moon had a certain restful, hopeful effect on some, even romantic connotations to others, it meant nothing but memories to Heine. Memories of what used to be and could never be.

The level-headed tutor wasn't exactly one to be all melancholic, at least most of the time, but what had him so frazzled was reason enough to become pessimistic about his life here at the palace. Odd that he would be bottling everything up as he had once given Prince Bruno the advice to speak his mind as others could be able to offer him some advice on a matter that had been troubling him. It would help him get his thoughts straightened out...

Ask for advice... that would be something. The only person he could be asking for advice was the very reason for this problem he was having. Heine heaved a heavy sigh and hung his shoulders as he stopped in his tracks and glanced out of the nearest window. Of course it could always help both of them to overcome this obstacle. No one else would find out, no one else was around, at least not anymore. The thought of the princes finding out was worrisome. They were smart, observant, persistent. The one word that wasn't in any of them's dictionary was 'quit'.

With another sigh he continued walking once again, letting his feet take him wherever, or that was what he was telling himself. In fact he knew pretty well where he was going. Strange, only a minute ago, he would be telling himself that it might not be the best idea to talk to him and now he was contemplating it. If he was truly honest with himself, he had to admit it had become a habit of his. Every time he tried to talk himself out of it and every time he ignored it instinctively. It was hard to act on your rationality when one was filled with emotions. Still, despite that fact that he could relate to Heine ad even understand him for the most part, Heine often felt like he wasn't being taken seriously. Perhaps he grown too cocky compared to the tutor who only grew more and more concerned.