The Hindmost {Markson}

Chapter 28

"I know. But I'd really be lying if I'd said I wanted to continue this topic." Mark replied turning his body and sitting up with his side and back facing Jackson.

"That's not...Withholding truth is a form of not being completely honest. I'd get it if we were strangers but we're not. I've only ever been honest with you." Jackson replied shuffling a little closer to Mark.

"..." Mark didn't know how to respond. He was lost in the consequences of his few options of words and actions.

"Would it be asking too much if maybe you'd care to confide in me?" Jackson asked staring at Mark's head as the elder had turned his face away.

Confiding in Jackson meant opening up. Opening up meant vulnerability. Vulnerability meant the possibility of pain of unknown strength. As Mark had never harbored such affection before he didn't want to know the lowest feeling that was the rejection of it.

"I...It's not what you think." Mark finally replied still hoping at least to now talk his way out of this.

"What is it that I'm thinking?"

"...Anybody you're thinking of...I don't like them." Mark admitted as this was still the truth.

"Are you sure?" Jackson asked more as a question to reassure Mark's honesty.

"I'm sure." Mark nodded.

"If so why were you so alarmed? You seem really displeased."

"I'm sorry I just...acted out. I'm not really comfortable with the subject." Mark bowed his head unable to turn around and look at the younger.

"Neither am I. Yet due to unforeseen circumstances, you know more about my current love life than my parents now. I don't want to force you but...you're my friend Mark. If something is bothering you I'd like to know." Jackson leaned forwards and put a hand on Mark's shoulder.

"Y-you're a great friend Jackson. And that's why you don't need to know." Mark mentally slapped himself for stuttering a bit.

"No that's exactly why I do need to know! As a great friend who sees someone with such kindness like yourself be upset; what kind of person would I be if I let you continue to struggle alone? It wouldn't be very kind of me nor up to par with the label of a great friend that you my-...Mark?" Jackson paused his rant noticing Mark was rubbing his face.

"...You're right. I'm glad you care but..." Mark spoke his voice soft as he turned and stood up slowly. Jackson followed suit leaning to the side trying to see Mark's expression.

"If we could just drop the subject...I'd hope you'd still think well of me." Mark said trying his hardest to shove down his feelings.

"Of course I'd still think good of you Mark. I would also hope you'd see that I won't be angry or upset with any answer you give me. I'm an open person." Jackson said sidestepping to be in front of Mark.

"..." Mark's eyes darted up at Jackson's. What did he mean by 'open person'?

"I...I don't want to force you but I don't want the reason for you to withhold secrets be because you fear my response." Jackson's expression was kind but still very puzzled as Mark stood so still.

"...You won't?" Mark asked as his body was locking up and his jaw tense.

"Never in a million years." Jackson put a smile on his face hoping the other would relax.

"...You sure?" Mark asked.

Was he really considering it? Was he really going to let Jackson know his secret? Was he going to really give in this easily? He had been locked in his thoughts about how things could change if he did come clean. It was scary.