More Than Just A Friend // Matt Espinosa **In editing**

Chapter 16

I kicked off my shoes, grabbed my laptop and started to write.

Basically I was writing out my heart. Everything. I didn’t leave back one thing.

The next day

I looked into my mirror. Big, dark bags under my eyes. Chapped lips and collar bones. I smiled and put on red lipstick. A black tank top and dark demin high waist pants. A black cardigan and black high heel boots.

Today we have to read our assignments. And I’m ready for Matt to hear what I have to say about this. I took a deep breath and headed for school.

In class.

“Who would like to go first?” Ms. Truman looked around the class. Only hands up were Matt, Jessy and I.

“Matthew!” Ms. Truman smiled and he walked up to the class.

Matthew’s P.O.V

I smiled a little when I stood in front of my class.

“Um… Okay, here we go.” I started and took a seat on the stool that was placed up there.

 “I remember the first time I knew you hated yourself. I found you on the floor of the hotel. Anti-depressants pill bottle rolled out from the bathroom and there you were, sleep.  It was hard to see you like that, because you were so perfect.” I paused and looked around the class. Melanie’s head was down. I took a deep breath. “And, I remember the first time we kissed. Your lips were so soft.” I stopped again. She was staring at me now.

“It was so easy to love you. I was proud to call you mine.” I could feel my hands shaking. “You were the only thing I wanted. But, you broke my heart. But that’s okay, because I love you with every little piece. You ignore me though. I walk down the halls, passing you every time, I was hoping for a smile, a glance. Anything, but I got nothing. You made us look like complete strangers. But, that’s what we are now.”  She looked over at me and then back down at her paper.

“I miss you so much that it hurts. And, now I don’t know what to do because I never felt like this before. And I hate that I miss you, and I hate that you don’t want me. And I hate myself even more for still loving you, for still aching for your text.” My voice cracked.

“So many times have I sat up at night, and cried. Cried for hours.” Why am I telling them I cried?! “You were keeping me sane. Because, without you, I’m nothing. I’m forgetting how to be myself without you.” I flicked a glance over to Melanie, whose eyes were red.

“I can’t understand it. You thought you weren’t good enough. But to me, you are perfect. You’re everything I want. I never let go of our conversations, our little fights, our kisses. Because that was everything I always wanted. And when I had it, I never thought I would lose it. But I did. And I can’t believe it. But, thanks for the times you gave me.” I sighed, put my paper on the teacher’s desk and walked out of class.

My eyes were tearing up and I could feel the air become thick.

“Matt, are you okay?” I turned too looked at Jessy. The girl who sat in the front of the class.

I nodded and wiped my face.

“Ms. Truman said get back in class so Melanie can read her paper.”

I nodded and waited until Jessy was down the hall before I started to walk.

Melanie’s P.O.V

I watched as Matthew and Jessy came back into class.

I breathed deeply and sat in the stool.

“So… Here we go.” I started off and looked down at the paper.

“It was intended to make you cry. You just deserved better and I thought I wasn’t fit enough to be your girlfriend. You deserve someone who isn’t scarred.” I chuckled a bit. “I remember the first time you asked to see my scars. I wouldn’t show you. I was scared that you might be upset with me. But you weren’t. You understood what I was going through and how I felt every day. You asked why I’d do it. And I’d simply say ‘Because it makes the pain go away.’ ” I looked over at Matt. His head in his hands.

 “I’m a lot more screwed then people think.” I laughed and put my head down.

“And whenever I thought no one cared, you showed me that you did. I remember how many times we said ‘I love you.’ 143. You may think I’m crazy, but I’m not. And I memorized every word you wrote me. From over 365 letters. It’s not something I’m proud of.” I sighed.

“Yeah, I broke up with you. For the best. You got so much happening with your life right now. You don’t need me, but I need you. It’s too late now. Just move on.” I whispered and fiddled around with my fingers. “Sometimes, loving and caring for each other isn’t enough.” I set my paper down and walked out of class.

I only went to English to say that.

“Melanie Mae Woods.” Matt came behind me and whispered in my ear.

I shivered and turned around. “What?”

He smiled a bit. “You finally talked to me.”

“Make it quick.” I sipped on my water bottle.

He sighed. “Your paper was about me, my paper was about you. Why are we not together?”

“Sometimes, loving and caring for each other isn’t enough.” I repeated.

He groaned. “Melanie, I love you way too much-“

“Sorry.” I cut him off and started to walk off.

“Babe. Please. Just give it one more chance.” I could hear the hurt in his voice. I kept walking. I didn’t look back.

(* Hey! I hope you guys liked this! Idk, I was listening to emotional music at the time of writing this lolol. Anyways, if you haven’t, check out my other books. :) And Thanks for reading! Love yaa!!*)