Mine

Rough Beginnings

That was the thing. Always a million things on my mind. But whatever it was. He was always there. I could invent beautiful, long, amazing stories yet they always they ended in the same place they had started. In. My. Head. And that's where they stayed. "Hey," I heard my mom say. "Can you toss me your dirty clothes now? I'm waiting Reegan." Ugh. I tossed her my clothes and closed my door. She. Didn't. Understand. I stuck my headphones in and blasted some ballet music in my ears trying to figure out that stupid Math homework. My phone buzzed on the table. "Where are you?" The message read. That was a good question. Mentally, I have no idea. Physically? In my house in Florida. Just kidding. I wish. I twisted my hair into a messy ballet bun and painted my nails in a quarter of a second, reajusting my tight bodysuit that was compressing the breath out of my lungs. Sin. Cos. Tan. What was I supposed to do with that? I struggled with it for a while and finally managed to finish it. I heard a car horn beep. Shit. I grabbed a bottle of water, some supper and bolted. "Reegan!" My mother screamed. 

I closed the door before she could say something more. I couldn't take her nagging these days. I jumped into the minivan next to Hailey. She had her hair down on her sides and was texting in a mad rush, probably her boyfriend. Or so she called him. I would prefer calling him her one and only obsession. "Hailey. Hailey, say hi to Reegan, please. Be nice." Her mother warned. Hales barely looked up. "Hi." She said, barely moving an inch. "Hi," I smirked in the rearview mirror. She caught my eye and smirked back. I looked into the sidewindow and saw a part of her conversation. There was a shitload of hearts. Some loveyous and too many emoticons. Dear goodness. Someone tell that girl to get a life. But I loved her anyways. We picked up Olivia on the curb and then Sophie. We all reajusted our buns and tried to work on unfinished homework on our way to our second home. Someone complained about their period and Hailey's mom tried to bond with her while I grimaced in the back seat. Finally. We arrived. I practically bolted out but before doing so I thanked Hailey's mom, forcing a smile. She deserved at least that. Class was great. My crappy day finally felt not-so-crappy. I don't know what it was. Was it the pliés? The tendus? The fondues? The streches? Or maybe the chainés or the pirouettes? Whatever it was, it made me feel strong and in control and everything else took the plunge. I looked at my reflection and thought; This is where I'm meant to be. Too soon, we were all back in that crowded white minivan and my dreams were crushed by sweat and body heat. I looked out the rainy window and sighed. It was a good day. That's at least what I tried to tell myself when I came in to my mom waiting for me. Again.

Too soon, my alarm rang and I was forced to eat, put on that scratchy uniform, try to untangle my messy curls but only making a bigger mess out of it. I threw my binders and books in my bag, grabbed some toast and made a run for it. My elastic fell out somewhere in the process and I ended up wearing my messy bed head tumble to school. Bell. Class. Bell. Class. Bell. Lunch. I looked for Haley everywhere but she wouldn't show. I went to her locker but she wasn't there. I went to the whereabouts of his locker and found her sticking her tongue down his throat. Unfazed, I said, "When you're done catching all his bacteria, I'll be at the caf." I turned on my heel and walked away. Some people laughed around me but I ignored them. Then, I realized too late that I left my lunch on the counter at home. Lovely. I was forced to go buy something gross to eat at the cafeteria. I stood in line for a bit, jingling my change in my right hand, impatient. What was up with me these days? Everything annoyed me. But dance obviously. But that was so completely different. That's when someone stepped on my toe. "Ow!" I yelled, unable to hold it. "Sorry!" A guy's voice yelled. Laughter erupted. Some whoops. My toes. I need them, thanks. I cracked my foot threw and threw, making sure I was still fine for those pointe classes I wanted to take so badly. The guy turned his head sideways to look at his victim. Triple crap. It was that stupid guy from Bio. Seth Nicholls. "Hey, sorry." he said. "Who really needs feet anyways?" I responded without emotion. I got my lunch and walked away without knowing what else to say. What else was there to say? Don't step on my feet. I could feel his gaze on my back as I walked away. But I didn't care.

"Hey," Said Becca with that huge smile of hers. "Hey what?" I retorted, in a clearly bad mood. "Hey," She said suddenly, her eyes wide. "What is up with you these days?" She asked clearly concerned. "Who knows?" I said. Becca and Clara, one of her friends from Calc or something exchanged a glance. "Why're you in such bad moods?" "Why do you care?" I asked. She slapped her hand on the table. "Stop it, Reeg!" That got my attention. "What is up with you?" She said again, trying to get ahold of one of my hands. "Don't act like my mom." I said. "What do you want me to say then?" She snapped. I shrugged, concentrating on unwrapping my food. That's when Hailey passed by. "Hey! Hales!" Screamed Becca. She waved her arms franctically like a friggin lunatic. "What?" Asked Haley clearly in a daze, barely stopping just in time. "We need you." Said Becca. "I need you to get through to Reegan." "Please," Becca begged. "For the love of God." Haley turned to me with her sly mischevious eyes. "R." She said. "Come with me." I followed her. She whispered in my ear. "Becca cares but she's oblivious. Just make nice with her and she'll leave you alone. I'll see you tonight." I nodded and we looked at each other understandingly. Haley always understood. I loved her for that. I responded to Becca's millions of questions and even smiled a little. I felt bad a bit. But she was just trying to be nice. It wasn't her fault I felt like shit. 

Bio. I brightened up at that. Even with that dreadful sour look I'd had about school these last few weeks, Bio always brightened the days up. Misses Callie was always so enthusiastic about the subject you would have to be blind or deaf not to feel it. And not to smile even just a little bit. Too bad that guy had to sit behind me. Seth. He sung under his breath the whole time, kicking my seat and making the floor shake every once in awhile. Let's not forget he ate his whole friggin lunch kit in class. Bottomless appetite those athlete junkies. I almost wanted to lean back in my chair and make my hair drip on his desk just to annoy him for all he annoyed me. But I didn't. Every once in awhile his feet would touch mine by accident and even though I moved mine away, I sort of wanted to leave them there. I felt like it would feel nice not to feel alone for once. Today he was roudier than usual and talked practically the whole way through with some jackass in the back. I finally turned around. I had never really spoken to him in my life but in that moment, I felt myself gain courage. "Just shut up. For the love of God." I felt the ground stop shaking and he shut up. Silence. I heard him lean in to say something but then he backed away. "Point taken." Is all I heard.