Letters of my life

First love

Dear My First Love.

This may be really out of the blue but I've been thinking a lot about all the different people in my life lately and well you came to mind. This little message will make you feel awkward but I've been writing these to get all my emotions out so here we go ....

When I started High School I was a weird little kid scared shitless about life and everything going on and about the kinds of different people at school. A big part of why I was scared of high school is cause of boys because, unlike a lot of other little girls and boys, I didn't do that whole primary school lovey dovey baby relationship thing. But then in high school, up until I met you, I messed around with boys and their feelings.. and well I now know it was wrong but I didn't know better.

When I met you I really really felt something for you .. something I had never felt before. Although we never officially dated you were my first 'love'. It sounds dumb but hear me out .. it may not have been 'love' (cause that's a HECTIC word) but it was something because I had been messing around with my emotions and other people's emotions(even when we were talking I was messing around with peoples emotions) and you in a way showed me how different a person can be once you get to know them and thus I stopped my stupid shit. I knew you had obviously been with other girls and wouldn't feel the same cause I was just some other young chicky you met at school and started talking to (so don't feel weird). At first I liked you obviously cause of your looks but as we started talking everyday for a while I saw how sweet and caring you were.

When you ended our little fling thing I was torn apart ....... but like always I picked myself up and dusted myself off and a bit later I met my Calvin (my boyfriend) and now it kinda shows me how you changed me because before you I had never dated a person and after you I'm in a 2year relationship with the love of my life and I do not see it ending anytime soon. Even though it sounds weird cause to you it was normal and for me I though back then that it was normal too but I thought hard about it and it was a little too coincidental. Please don't let this be weird between us but if you don't want to talk to me I completely understand and respect your wishes.

So I just want to say thank you for being a part of my life and I hope we can be friends through anything.