A Tale of Two Lovers by BlairBW

PART 1

PART 1 - The early days.

#ATaleofTwoLovers

Kita throwback during our early days after si J proposed B.

Year 2016, February (Summer).

I was as confused as the weather in Melbourne during summer. Of course saya happy bila si Jared finally popped the question to me and I said YES.

Yes to what? Yes to be his future. Yes, to finally accept myself. Yes to give ourselves another chance.

Bukan satu-dua kali ni ah si Jared hint sa yg dia mau couple sama sa. Tapi sa pura-pura kasi biar tu soalan dia limpas macam angin. Sebenarnya sa pun tidak pasti samada sa betul-betul ready mau terima dia. Tapi sa enjoy being around Jared. He knows how to make me laugh, he makes me feel special and he makes me love myself more. I can foresee myself kalau sa hidup sama dia. He makes me feel whole again.

But jauh dalam hati sa, I am so afraid. Sa takut untuk ada komitmen lagi. It wasn't easy to move on from my previous failed marriage. It took me a goddamn hardcore year to love myself again. And if it was not because of my daughter, I would probably end up being misery. Kalah-kalah tu kematian laki ni. Suram bah hidup sa trus sa rasa. My only distraction was my job. Kalau pulang rumah, sure teringat anak sudah lah hidup berjauhan, then teringat ni hidup sa yang macam-macam saja jadi. Sometimes sa rasa ni dunia tidak adil bagi sa.

Brandon, I loved him. He loved me but he broke me. He broke his promises. Ada satu masa sa terfikir, all men are just asshxles. They give you promises and they break them. Senang-senang saja. Brandon moves on and lives his life as he wanted to. Everything looks pretty fine for him. Tambah sa sakit hati ni. Damn!

This heart is so fragile. It was broken, and it was not the same when it was fixed. When I looked into my finger, cincin yang si Jared bagi sa, it was beautiful. Ngam-ngam bah tu cincin di jari sa. Like it was customized for me. (But It's not) I smiled because I think there is still hope for this broken girl.

Thank you Jared because if all else fails, you never failed me.

Yes, I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.

***

One scorching hot day, it was pass 30°C. Rasa-rasa macam mau terbakar ni kalau keluar rumah. Saya sama Jared di rumah sja. Usually sa pigi office punch in at 10.00 am, but it was super hot. Si Jared pula baru balik dari outstation the night before. Mimang salah satu dia sa malas masuk office because jarang-jarang bah terjumpa ni kekasih hati. Haha! Tambah-tambah lagi dia ni memujuk mujuk sa dari pagi.

Jared: Honey, please don't go.

Baru sa siap mandi and walked around with my bath robe sambil mau kasi kering rambut.

Blair: Ko ni kan kalah-kalah tu budak bah. Ee!

Jared: Aah you ni, time sa jauh ko bilang rindu sa. Sa sudah di sini ko tidak pun rindu sa..

Dengan muka dia nda padan sama umur, sulking.

Blair: Oh please... (Sa ni sengaja saja ego-ego)

Jared: Honey.. (Dengan suara-suara dia yg kadang bikin sa tdk tahan).

Jared: Pleaaassse? (Lagi dia bilang).

Ni hati yang cepat cair pun setuju. I end up do my work from home. I have a flexi time because I often attend functions / event as work tasks in the evening or late night. Thanks to my workplace culture that is fairly casual and egalitarian. Tempat kerja sa tu yang practice result-oriented and work-life balance. Yang penting ko deliver task, boss sa tiada masalah.