First and Last

The First and Last

"Mama? Mama, it feels so weird! What's happening? I'm itchy everywhere!"

A deep russet she-wolf smiled gently at her five-year old son, who was sitting in the bittersweet meadow grass with a combination of excitement and apprehension on his face.

"Just close your eyes, darling. Then we'll see what kind of wolf you'll be," the female Omega told her child fondly. Today was his fifth birthday. Five years since the day she met the one thing which made her life worth living. She had never meant to have a child, and Kangsoo had been quite the surprise. Even if she felt guilty that by being her son he would be condemned to her rank, the mother had never regretted him once. She would protect him for as long as she was able, and teach him to protect himself after that.

Kangsoo looked at his mother one last time and then closed his eyes and let the peculiar sensation take over. When it went away and he opened his eyes again curiously, he was shocked to see the world through a whole new lens.

The grass was so bright, the sky so vivid! He felt as if he could see the outline of each leaf on the trees in the forest in perfect detail if he tried. It was amazing! And his hands- no, his paws- were now covered with blueish-gray fur. Kangsoo scrambled to his feet and shouted, the noise coming out in a happy bark. He was a wolf!

The russet Omega smiled wistfully at the sight of her pup's delight. She'd been given two hours to help him shift for the first time, and knew that while she wouldn't tell him this now, this first chance to shed his skin and become a wolf would also be his last.

"Enjoy it while you can, my little one," she called to her son. He was a dark blueish-gray, with lighter fur accenting his face and perfect blue eyes. A pang went through the she-wolf's heart when she imagined the majestic full-grown wolf he could have been. If only fate had not been so cruel as to give her angel an Omega for a mother.

"While I can? But everybody in the pack shifts all the time, Mama!" Kangsoo tipped his innocent face toward his mother, who deeply sighed.

"I'll explain it later, my Kangsoo," she told him gently, and a chill went through the pup's spine when she said his name. He wasn't supposed to say it at home, so Mama called it his secret name. Everyone usually called him Ka, which he thought was okay.

A breeze bustled through the meadow for a few moments, and Ka's eyes widened as the new range of smells invaded his small black nose. Somehow, through some instinct deeper than himself, he knew that he was scenting the tang of herbs by a stream, the musk of a fox, the sharpness of pine needles from the surrounding forest.

The breeze also stirred something in the young wolf that made him want to go, to run, to leap, to howl! He tipped his head back and let out a tremendous yip! before he dashed off across the grass, the four-beat rhythm of his gallop coming naturally to his step.

It was like nothing he had ever hoped for, imagined, or even dreamed of. The ground whooshed away beneath his paws, and he was flying faster than his human legs could ever carry him when he tore around the yard at night. He sent a short, high-pitched howl to the sky as he zoomed through the grass and leaped after a butterfly.

The russet she-wolf smiled with a sigh as she watched her pup's moment of joy. How she wished that she could be that young again. So fragile, yet so beautiful. First and last.

There was no way to go back in time once the moment had passed. There must be a first and last. First and last.

Yet even so, tucked away in the corner of her mind, the mother she-wolf kept a private vision to herself: a blue-gray wolf standing confidently on a mountainside, his ruff and fur blowing in the wind and his eyes bright.

If only it could ever be.