Hello and welcome to my life.
you see, I may look like your average goody-two shoes athlete who's only goal in life is to keep her 4.0.
Or you might see the side of me that just wants the world to swallow me whole.
Or you see the side of me as the sarcastic memelord.
You see, the world puts us under these categories.
There's the preps, the jocks, the nerds, the geeks, yes there is a difference between those two. There's the religious, the burnouts, the emos, the outcasts, the overachiever, the class clown, my list only hits the tip of the iceberg.
But I don't understand how one can fit under a singular category.
I can find myself to fit under multiple ones of those.
You see, I am a pretty good student. I maintain a 4.0 and finish my assignments the period before. Literally study hall is a lifesaver for my 5th and 6th period classes.
So, I love learning new information. It gives me a sense of power that I've never felt before. You know the feeling you get when everyone in your class gets the wrong answer and you courageously say your answer and its right and your classmates look at you in awe? yeah, I love that.
um, but my point is that people can see me as that nerd.
but then there's that side of me that rocks out to punk music and wears all black.
people ask my why i wear all black. i don't have one specific answer so i usually shrug and let the topic pass. but the truth is that i had that slight-goth phase in 6-7th grade where my wardrobe was mostly black and unlike most people who comment about it, i'm not privileged with wardrobe upgrades every summer before school starts.
i dyed my hair, not an extreme color, but it still made me feel like i had power.
and lets be real, everyone has loved MCR at one point. don't tell me you don't feel a little emo when you hear that G note in Welcome to the Black Parade.
then there's the side of me that loves skyrim. if given the chance, i will play my ps4 for over 12 hours. it's actually pretty sad.
i can look at memes of a video game i play and crack up because i find it so relatable. like how almost every guard in each hold used to be an adventurer like you until they took an arrow to the knee.
don't get it? then you probably haven't played skyrim.
therein lies my geek side. which i'm proud to admit.
then there's the religious side of me. my dad is a preacher and i go to church every sunday morning, sunday night and wednesday night. and as to many people's surprise, i look forward to it. it's like a spiritual cleansing for the week. everyone there is so sweet and i can make some of the best friends there.
i wear a ring on my right ring finger as a sign for my purity. not because i'm forced to, it was my decision and people see that as weird nowadays but i know i'm going to be thankful for it when i'm married.
then there's the athletic side of me. i play 3 sports all in different seasons so there is no off season for me.
during the fall, i have volleyball where i get to keep a ball from hitting the ground and slamming it onto the other side of the net.
in the winter, there is basketball. where i do whatever i can to get a ball through a hoop.
then in the spring, there is track. where i throw a heavy ball as far as i can and a metal disc as far as i can.
then in the summer, there's volleyball in the morning, basketball in the evenings and sometimes a little track in between. it's honestly so exhausting.
then there's the funny side of me, with a slight ominous twist to it.
i do whatever i can to make people laugh. i love knowing that i can make people smile by something i do or say. it brightens my day so much. and hearing everyone's laugh is glorious to me because everyone's is different.
but, with that comes the side of me when i'm alone. when i don't have anyone to make laugh, i just think. i think about whether people laugh with me or at me.
the thought consumes me until i feel worthless and i go to sleep with a thinking head filled with nothing but negative thoughts where i wake up and start my cycle again.
thus concluding why i hate being alone.
here lies my mind, i hope you enjoy your stay.
—introductions
