Your name is Dave Strider. A hella cool guy with an ironic situration on his hands. Usualy you would welcome such irony but this just seems almost too IRONIC. How is that even possible?! Anyway, here is the issue. You may or may not have weird feelings for Karkat Vantas. You have no idea how these feelings came about but one day you woke up and Bam you're getting hard over the thought of Karkat wearing one of you shirts-JUST one of your shirts.
Normally liking someone wouldn't be a problem considering that you have mad lady skills and that you broke the mold when god or whoever the hell made you. But this is Karkat Vantas , the master of cold stares and rude comments. There is NO fucking way Karkat would ever consider entering any relationship with you, not even one of those freaky troll romances either. Besides you have no way of knowing if Karkat is already in a relationship with anyone else because he is so secretive about his feelings. Everytime you ask about them you get something along lines of "fuck off Strider!" or "That is none of your concern and if you ask me again I will end you!"
Sigh.
Speaking of Karkat, you realize you haven't talked to him in some time. Maybe right now would be a perfect chance to pester him.
You walk over to your computer and open PesterChum. You see that Karkat is online. Perfect!!
-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering CarcinoGeneticist [CG] --
TG: hey
CG: OH GREAT. WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT STRIDER?
CG: BECAUSE SERIOUSLY I AM NOT IN THE MOOD FOR YOUR HUMAN RAMBLING BULLSHIT.
TG: i was just checking up on you
TG: damn you would think a friend could check up on a friend without having to have a good reason
CG: FRIEND? OH NO. YOU MUST HAVE MISTOOK MY TALKING TO YOU FOR KINDNESS
CG: OR YOU ARE JUST THE MOST STUPID HUMAN I HAVE EVER MET.
TG: the most stupid human
TG: so im not the most stupid being you have ever met
CG: NO. THAT WOULD BE GAMZEE MAKARA.
CG: LIKE YOU. HE IS A FUCKING IDIOT.
TG: well anyway
TG: whatcha doin
CG: UM
CG: I AM OBVIOUSLY TALKING TO YOU DUMBASS.
TG: not what I meant
TG: but whatever
CG: IF THAT IS ALL. I AM GOING.
CG: DO TRY NOT TO BOTHER ME AGAIN.
CG: IF YOU ARE EVEN CAPIBLE OF THAT.
CG: WHICH I DOUBT YOU ARE NOT.
-- CarcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --
You lay your head on your desk and sigh loudly. Karkat is such a dick.
You look up and see that your good friend John Egbert is pestering you.
-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --
EB: hey.
TG: sup
EB: i just wanted to make sure you were not dead.
EB: i mean you have not spoken to me for a while.
TG: yeah
TG: ive been kind of busy
EB: busy?
