IPKKND OS: Musings of Manorama

Musings of Manorama

I Manorama, belonged to a lower middle class family. My father was a day labourer and was responsible for our family of six consisting of my parents, my brother, my sisters and myself. Our life wasn't a fairy tale but we were all very happy with whatever we had. One day tragedy struck our family. Ramesh kaka, my father's friend came running to our house with the news that my father had an accident and that he was no more. That incident changed everything for us. I along with my elder sister took charge of my family. My elder sister loved to study. She didn't want to quit her studies because of her added responsibilities. One of our neighbours, Navin Kishore, a school teacher by profession, came to know about our situation and offered my sister the job of his assistant at his tuition classes. He also promised to help my sister with her studies. I left my studies and started working as a housemaid. I was barely eighteen at that time.

The mistress of the house I worked for was a kind lady. Devyani Raizada was a widow and lived with her only son in a palatial house in Lucknow. The old lady had a daughter too but she was already married. So it was only her and her son who lived in that big house where my entire neighbourhood could easily fit in. I admired their lifestyle. Her son was a handsome young man. After his father died, he took over his ancestral business. He spent most of his time in the office. But no matter how busy he was, he always made sure to have his evening tea with his Amma. One such evening when I was serving tea to the mother son duo, she asked me about my family. I told them everything about my life, my family and my responsibilities. After listening to my life story the kind lady asked me whether I wanted to continue my studies. But studies never fascinated me. I told her that my dream was to become a heroine like the one they showed in movies. I also told her that I didn't wish my siblings to discontinue their studies as this is what they wanted to do. But I couldn't afford it. She assured me that she will bear the expenses of my siblings' education. I couldn't have been any happier.

After that day the kind lady's son started talking to me whenever he was at home. He used to ask me about my Amma's health, how my siblings are faring at school, whether I had any problem at home and so on. Soon we became friends. He started bringing flowers and sweets for me. My feelings for him started to change. I started dreaming of something which was unreachable for me. I knew my dreams can never come true. He was a rich man and I was a mere servant. We were no match. I started distancing myself. But it did no good as the more I tried to avoid him, the more he used to come close to me. He asked me many a times why I was staying aloof. I couldn't answer him as I didn't know how to say this to him. What if he laughed at me? What if he had no such feelings for me? I didn't have it in me to bear his rejection. I didn't want him to have pity on me. So I ignored him as much as I could.

I could feel his desperation. He was getting frustrated. He wanted an answer and I didn't want to give him one.

One day my mistress went to visit her daughter who had given birth to a son. I was at home alone. I heard the doorbell and opened it to find my friend whom I was avoiding for so many days standing at the door. He came inside and asked me about his Amma. He said he wanted to talk to me. I once again tried to flee from the scene. But this time I could not escape. I gave in and cried my heart out. He tried to stop me from crying. He said he couldn't bear to see me crying. That it hurt him when I cried. I had had enough. Who was he to feel my pain? What did he know of my miseries? I lashed out at him. But he was not bothered at all. I gaped at him when I saw him smiling. He took my hands in his and said that he loved me with all his heart. He loved me the way I am. He, Mahinder Raizada, confessed his love for Manorama. I still couldn't believe it. How was that possible? He belonged to a family with class and money. I was a nobody. This couldn't be happening. I started hitting him on the chest for playing this dirty game with me. So what if I was poor? I too had feelings. He caught my hands and engulfed me in a tight hug. I tried to push him away but he was too strong. He whispered again and again that he really loved me. I was crying in his embrace. My sobs grew louder as time ticked away. He started placing butterfly kisses on my hair, neck and shoulder in an attempt to sooth me. We didn't know when our emotions took over our good sense. That evening I completely surrendered myself to him.