My dear loser: InSun's Playlist

Track 24: Fear

I dialed Copper's phone again.

"Cop! Where are you?" I asked him.

"I'm here in the school already."

"Where's Lot?!" I shouted.

"He's with Jean. They're arguing right now. Saunk and Tae are with me as well." He explained, "Is Sun okay?" He added.

"He's not here in his aunty's house anymore. I'm heading there now." I finished, referring to our school.

I was literally shaking while on the way to the school. I was afraid, scared and frustrated on Sun's safety. My tears feared to fall. I don't know what to do if I ever saw Sun hurt, because of me.

I dashed like lightning as soon as my feet touched our school ground. Sweat, nervousness, I don't know what more was with me as I took the stairs in an instant.

The room was already a meter away, when aunty Kraimin stopped me from entering.

"Stop!" She commanded.

"Sawatdee aunty. I need to enter now. Thanks." I said, and then reached for the door's knob, but she was faster. She gripped the knob tightly.

I was confused of my aunt's actions; I raised my face and looked at her.

"So, you're one of the five who forced him out." She started.

I didn't know what she was saying.

"Don't worry, Mr. Akin is inside already." I withdrew a sigh as aunty Krai said that, "but I can't assure you his safety. Last time we talked, Kip was looking for him."

What? Why does my aunty know P'Pot's brother? What is she...

I backed off, my eyes widened.

"Don't worry, until he's not expelled yet, I won't tell your father about your relationship with Mr. Akin." she was smiling.

My aunty's words didn't register in my mind right after. I'm still trying to digest her words. What's her connection with Copper's uncle? with P'Kip? What's happening?

"You are..." My finger was shaking as I pointed to my aunty, "his other woman?" I widened my eyes.

"Don't call me a mistress!" My aunty gripped my finger that made me yelp. "I'm the one that he loves!"

My aunt's warning made me scared of Sun's safety more. The tears that I was holding back were again on its edge.

"Don't hurt Sun." I whispered, pulling my finger back.

"I won't. Don't worry, but I can't stop my son if he wants to. I'm just warning you. I know your father now. I know that he dislikes gays"

"Son?" I wondered. "P'Kip? Your son?"

She just looked at me.

I felt so helpless. P'Pot, then P'Kip, and now my aunty.

I wasn't brave enough to counter my tears. It just won't stop. I tried to wipe them out, but they just kept on flowing.

"Go go. Go inside now. Show them how weak you are!" My aunt instructed.

She pulled the door open and I entered while still crying.

"Give respect" Jean announced.

She's safe thanks God.

I walked towards my seat while still keeping my tears on hold. Sun was looking at me, I knew it. His stares made me cry more. I felt so guilty. I don't know if I should tell him about what's happening or not.