Broken

"Jay... just stop.... please," Will begged grabbing Jay's arm and pulling him back to him.

"I..... can't...." he sobbed pushing against Will again. This time Will had a better hold on him and managed to not let him get loose. He gently pushed him back into the room they'd just been in as Jay fought him through his tears.

"It's ok Jay.... it's ok. I got you," Will whispered holding him tight as Jay fought, hitting him over and over trying to get free. Will never let go. If hitting him made his brother feel better, he'd take it all day. He just couldn't let Jay leave like this.

He heard the door slide close gently and looked back seeing Nat sliding it closed to give them privacy. "Thank you," Will mouthed to her and saw her sad smile and nod back.  She knew Will needed to be there for his brother and she'd do whatever she could to help them.

"Jay, buddy, come on. It's ok. I got you," Will said as they sank to the floor with Jay now clinging to him instead of fighting him. It'd been a long time since he'd seen his brother this upset. He knew in just a few minutes Jay would be on the verge of a panic attack and Will was trying to avoid that all together.

"Jay... look at me. It's ok," Will said grabbing his face and making Jay look at him. "Breathe little brother. Match my breaths," Will said gently keeping his breaths slow and even so Jay would match him.

The longer they sat there the more Jay started to match his breathing and calm down. Will didn't turn him loose. "That's it. You're ok. I got you," Will said gently as Jay slowly came back to himself.

"I.... I.... I.... didn't know.... I didn't know.... this is all my fault," he sobbed his head finding Will's shoulder as Will rubbed his back and head.

"I know buddy. I know. But you're here. You're here. You'll both be ok. You'll get through this."

"We're not even together," Jay cried knowing Will knew this since he'd been staying with him. "We weren't even partnered together today. I didn't have her back," Jay said quietly clinging to Will as if he was his lifeline.

"That's not your fault Jay." Will grabbed his face making him look at him. "You've tried. You were dealing with a lot. If she loved you like you love her, she would understand that. She'd stand by you, not say she needs space. I love you little brother, I do. But this isn't all on you."

Jay didn't want to believe him. He knew this was his fault, and because of it, they'd lost their baby and maybe even more.....

5 hours later

It'd been seven hours since Erin had been brought in. Will had taken Jay to see her for a bit and then left him in the doctors' lounge. He'd kept him away from Voight for both of their sakes and Nat had told him the last time she checked on him, he'd finally fallen asleep.

Will was slightly relieved knowing his brother had to be worn out after the emotional day. Will's shift was almost over and he'd be taking Jay home for some much needed rest.

He checked on Erin before his shift ended so he could update Jay. Not much had changed. She was giving zero signs of coming out of the coma on her own. Her body was badly battered from the incident and Will was feeling hopeless. He didn't have good news to give Jay, and Hank had insisted Jay was not allowed in to see her. He was Erin's medical contact and was allowed to make those decisions. The hospital could not fight him on it despite personal beliefs.

Will wrapped up his charts and signed out going to get his brother. Natalie was waiting right outside the lounge for him.

"Hey," he smiled tiredly giving her a quick kiss.

"Hey. Need me to do anything? Want me to tell him for you?" She asked gently.

"No I got it. He needs to hear it from me," Will said tiredly.

Natalie nodded giving him a hug. "Call me if y'all need anything ok?"

"Yea I will. Thanks Nat," he said giving her a gentle kiss. She smiled up at him giving him a tight hug. She collected her stuff with another kiss before heading out.

Will got his stuff from his locker and then gently woke his brother. "Come on buddy. Wake up," Will said.

"I'm up," he mumbled rubbing his swollen eyes as he slowly sat up.

"Let's head home," Will said helping him up.

"I wanna see her first."

Will let out a sigh before steering Jay to the exit. "Damn it Will didn't you hear me?!" Jay said frustrated as he tried to turn back.

Will grabbed his arm and steeered him outside as Jay tried fighting him. "Jay you can't ok? Not unless you want to go to jail."

"What?!" He said angrily breaking Will's hold.

"Her medical contact specifically said you were not allowed in to see her. If you try to go in there, they will arrest you. I don't have bail money little brother," Will said giving his shoulder a sympathetic squeeze.

"FUCK!!" Jay screamed punching the nearest wall.

"Jay stop! Damn it stop!" Will yelled over his brother's heartbreaking sobs as he pulled him away from the wall. He grabbed Jay's hands trying not to get mad at him. He knew Jay just needed his support. He tossed his bag in his car before taking Jay back into the ED.

"Maggie can you get me a suture kit?" Will asked steering Jay into an open room. She hurried off as he got Jay settled on the bed.

"Look, I know you're hurting and upset. I'm here for you Jay. Whatever you need. But busting up your knuckles is not the answer. Now after I stitch this up, you're gonna have to go easy on the hands got it?"

Jay just nodded dejectedly. The last thing he needed to do was make Will's life worse. He finally had it going good. He didn't need Jay coming in and screwing it up because his life suddenly went to shit.

"Enough of that," Will said sternly lightly smacking his face before injecting his hands with numbing medicine.

"Huh?" Jay said confused as he looked at his brother.

"Stop with the self deprecation. I won't have it, and I'm damn sure not going to watch you self destruct."

Jay stated silent watching his brother stitch his skin back together. "I know you Jay. You're not ruining my life or whatever other bullshit you're thinking. I'm your brother. I'm here for you. Let me be here for you. I wasn't before, I know that, but I'd like to think we've come far enough that I can be here for you now. So don't push me away. Just let me be here."

Jay gave him a small nod as Will finished up and cleaned up. "We'll have to keep it bandaged and cleaned but don't worry I'll do it," Will said helping Jay up. "I've got a few days off so we can do anything you want," Will smiled slinging his arm over Jay's shoulder as they walked out.

"Ok. Can we get some food though?" Jay asked as they got to the car. Will let out a laugh for the first time since he'd seen Erin come in.

"Yea buddy. Of course we will," he smiled as they got in to head out. No matter what he'd make sure Jay was ok through this and he wouldn't let him slip. He'd fight every step of the way to keep Jay from falling down a hole again. He was here, and here for good, and this was how he'd prove it to Jay. They'd be there for each other always, no matter what.