I'm sat in the car next to Tyler, Michael, and my father. I stared at the window, gazing at the flashes of green as we drove down the road.
"You okay?" Mike whispered, giving me a tap on the shoulder.
I turned to him, ready to pass out right then and there. The anxiety was consuming me. Was she okay? Does she still love me like I love her? Would she still love me after this? "I'm good, man."
He nods, patting my shoulder and returning to the other conversation with my brother and father. And I stared out the window, 'what ifs' eating me from the inside out. Goddamn, I feel like I'm going to puke.
I rest my head against the head of the seat and close my eyes, hoping all the fear would go away.
The car stops and my eyes snap open. I look out of the window and see how beautiful this place is, just like Milly would've wanted. That's what makes me even more nervous. The fact that we're here. It took an hour, but we're here.
I leave the car first, throwing up onto the grass on the opposite side of the road. There's a hand on my back as I finish emptying my stomach contents. I spit onto the ground one more time before I see who it is. Tyler Jay Finley. Thank God.
"Do I smell like vomit?" I ask him, taking the water he offered me and swishing it around my mouth before spitting again.
"Breath check." His hands pry open my mouth before I can object. "Nope."
I swat his hands away. "Do I look okay?"
He straightens my tie and makes an 'OK' sign with his fingers. "Handsome as fuck. She'll love you, if she doesn't already."
I try to even out my breathing as we make our way into the building, rows of flowers lining the walkway and stairs, none of them her favorite, but pretty nonetheless. I hope everything ends up just how she wanted.
I'm standing in the hallway thinking about every single detail that we had planned together when there's a tap on my shoulder coming from the youngest of my groomsmen.
"It's time to get in line to walk, bud," Mike informs me. "You ready?"
Am I ready? "Yeah. I'm ready."
He gives me a reassuring smile and leads me to where all the bridesmaids and everyone before Milly is supposed to walk. Ashley and Tyler are the first to go. Then, Maddy and Michael. Then, Emily by herself. Next, it was my turn.
I felt like I was walking in bricks instead of these shiny-ass loafers. Each step I took, I thought of this ending horribly. Each second that I stood there by that wedding arch, I thought of her not showing up. Each minute that passed listening to the officiant telling me that she'd show, I felt like I was dying.
Then, the music started playing. That fucking organ. I look up instantly, and there she is. So incredibly beautiful. I've never seen anything or anyone as gorgeous as she does right now. She always looks gorgeous, but goddamn.
We lock eyes and I start crying. She's so perfect in every single way. Tyler's already handing me the handkerchief that I said would be stupid to bring. He's definitely going to keep this over my head. I don't even care. She's so beautiful.
She makes it to the altar just as the music ends, taking my hands in hers. I look her over about a million times. The dress was from a catalog that she kept showing me. 'It's not a dress, you idiot. It's a lace corset with a high-low skirt, and it's perfect'. Doesn't matter. She's stunning.
About 10 to 15 minutes past, and still can't help but stare. I've tuned everything out. At least, I did until I saw her lips moving again.
"Huh?" I ask her, not able to lose my smile.
"Two things. You look so very handsome today."
"Thank you. What's two?"
"You're supposed to be saying your vows right now."
I look up and the officiant plus everyone else in the church is staring at me, as they kind of should be, with looks saying, 'Is he going to say the vows or are we skipping straight to the cake and getting drunk part?'.
"Oh, yeah. First, I want to start off by apologizing."
She frowned. "For what?"
"That Panic! wasn't available for the band. And for pretending like I didn't know you existed that day I bumped into you at school. And for leaving you alone all those years ago-"
"Don, that wasn't y-"
"Millicent, beautiful, this is my time to shine."
She smiles and nods, giving me the sign to continue rambling. I honestly didn't know what to say, and it wasn't just because how she looked right now is leaving me breathless. I don't know what to tell her. All I can tell her is apology after apology.
"I'm sorry for breaking up with you after I left and I'm sorry for how I left us. I'm sorry for not continuing to send you letters and calling you. I'm sorry for coming back and messing up the balance of your life. I really didn't think that I'd see you again when I came back, but it was 100% my fault for coming back to the same freaking city. I'm sorry for making you feel like I wouldn't be accepting of Drew. I didn't mean to make you so stressed. I'm sorry for not proposing sooner... And for using our daughter to help me because I was too scared to ask you without some help. And lastly, I'm sorry for making you cry on your day." I wipe the tears from her face before continuing. "I love you so much and I promise, excuse me, I vow to do better for us and our family and for whatever else comes after this. I'm going to be right by your side through thick and thin. For as long as we're together and well after. No matter what, okay?"
She sniffs and nods, her hair barely swaying with the swift motion. "Okay."
The next 10 minutes are a blur to me. Milly says her vows and I start sobbing, Drew starts crying because Milly starts crying, everyone else starts crying, and the officiant says more things that I tune out. At least, until I hear those magic words that I've been waiting to hear ever since I met this beautiful woman in front of me.
"You may kiss the bride."
I turn to him quickly, the excitement inside of me threatening to boil over. "Are you serious?"
He furrows his brows in confusion. "Er, yes, sir."
"Kiss her, you idiot!" I hear my father shout.
He didn't have to ask me twice. She was in the middle of laughing hysterically, but I kissed her anyways, my arms around her waist, and hers around my neck. She was still laughing, but she was also still so perfect. We did it.
We're married.
