One Last Time

The Secret

Meanwhile I tried to pay attention to my schoolwork and ignore the wolf packs and also ignore Ken. But there was something about him I have to admit, I liked. It was the way he wouldn't come at me like the wolfpack.He was subtle, always asking me questions about projects and assignments even if he knew what he was doing. One day, after having a heated argument with Yousef about him going out to pizza with a couple of friends, I gave Ken a tiny paper with my number, ":) Text ! 555-5799" I know, what was I thinking? I felt unbelievably lonely, and now frustrated. Yousef had gone out with a group of couples, couple-less. In other words without me, instead they took Samantha, a skimpy sophomore. His friends thought I was nice and cool, but they thought Sammy was way cooler, and so they tried to hook them up. This blew my top, and I took it out against Yousef for accepting the invitation and NOT inviting his girlfriend. Why was I stuck at home while Yousef could go out and have fun? I wasn't having it. The next day I received a text, "It's Ken. I've been dying for over two years to get something off my chest. You're BEAUTIFUL!" Good ole' Ken, he knew better. I really didn't care to hear anymore compliments, I just wanted to feel less lonely. And that's how it started. We began our behind the scenes, secretive relationship, if that's how you want to call it, a platonic relationship that is. Ken would come over, we'd sneak around and go out to the movies, out to eat, casual stuff. Then one time we kissed, a long and hard kiss. Nothing romantic, to be honest. It was nothing like Yousef's kisses, wet and smooth that made my stomach tingle. It was all sexual.. It'd been weeks that Yousef and I, well hadn't had much to do with each other. We'd kiss, maybe heavily make-out and he'd drop me off saying he had a big test to study for. So I got involved with Ken. And one day we had sex, I'd like to say that I broke it off with Yousef and got married to Ken later on and blah, blah. But no, none of that happened. I felt nothing for Ken but mere attraction, and a tad of care and sympathy. Boy did he think he loved me. I think deep down Ken was overly excited to have me, even if it was at nights. My lonely nights. He loved the idea of me. We never had unprotected sex with Ken because sometimes I'd still be with Yousef. There were many points when I was close to breaking it off with Ken because of the guilt, but I never grew the courage to do it.