The Drug Dealers Handbook

Chapter Twenty-Three

"Should I be worried?" 

"Always," he affirmed before continuing. "How would you respond to him dropping the only bar of soap? These are legitimate concerns." 

"I'm sure they are. But is this really what he wanted to tell me?" 

And then I jumped to the sound of a voice from behind me. "No," it said. "I just needed a good distraction so I could surprise you," 

Slowly, I turned to see James standing there with his hands in his pockets looking the same as he always had. But even so, I still said: "Wow. Jail changed you," before dropping my phone, jumping up and running to give him a hug. He sighed into my hair and squeezed my waist. 

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you missed me," he teased. 

"Don't flatter yourself," 

"You doing the whole running and jumping into my arms kind of clued me in." 

I pulled away from him enough so that I could look him in the eye, and then, in all seriousness, I said, "Don't push it," 

James laughed in response and kissed me on the forehead before pulling away from me and walking over to the blanket on the ground. Not that I would say this out loud, but I had sort of hoped that he wouldn't have let go of me to do that, and the two of us could do an awkward shuffle toward the blanket, still wrapped up in each other. 

But I followed him anyway, and laid down next to him. I didn't try to get any closer to him; the lack of communication made me a bit weary of that, welcoming hug aside. 

"What are we, brother and sister?" James asked sarcastically, sliding an arm around my neck and bringing me closer. I breathed a sigh of relief at this and rested my head against the side of his chest. 

We laid there for awhile in silence. So long, that I had to look up at James to make sure he wasn't asleep. 

"What?" he asked, catching me looking at him. 

"I may or may not have really missed you," I admitted with a smile. 

He smiled back at me. "I knew it," 

"You're ruining the moment," 

"Damn, I always do that," 

There was silence for a little while longer before I finally said: "God, now what are we going to do? Now that there isn't a boyfriend in the way and you're not in jail? It's almost like we can be a normal..." I paused, looking for the right word to place right there. 

"Couple?" James supplied. 

I looked up at him again. "Is that what we are?" 

"I thought us admitting our undying love for each other made that pretty obvious." 

"I don't remember saying that my love was undying," I told him in all seriousness. 

He looked like he was at loss for words. "I'm hurt, Morgan. Really hurt." I laughed at this. 

"There is something I need to tell you, though," all tones of playfulness were now gone. 

"Don't you dare say something to ruin this," I told him. "Not now," 

James took a deep breath. "I think I have to." I waited for him to continue, trying to figure out how to defend myself from what he might say. "My parents obviously aren't happy about me being in possession of drugs and going to jail. While I was in there, they did a drug test and it came back positive," he grabbed ahold of my hand and traced circles on its back. "They're sending me to rehab." 

I scrunched my eyebrows in confusion. "But you're eighteen. They can't make you do anything." 

"My thirty hours of community service used to be serving a few months in a low security prison," he told me. "They suggested rehab as a way of lowering that to just community service. My parents also told me that if I don't go to rehab, I will never be welcome in their home again, and I'll never see my siblings." 

Words escaped me. How was I suppose to respond to this? What I wanted to do was scream, and cry, and proclaim some more about how life wasn't fair. I also wanted to go back over to Natalia's house just so I could get the satisfaction of hitting her again. 

"Why is there always something trying to pull us apart?" I said a lot calmer than what I was feeling. 

He kissed the top of my head. "I don't know." 

"How long will you be gone?" I asked. 

"The program lasts six months," 

"Are we going to last six months?" I hadn't meant to ask it; it just slipped out. But as soon as it did come out, I realized I couldn't answer that question myself. 

One long pause later, and all he did was repeat "I don't know." 

Well, I didn't know either, but that certainly wasn't the answer I wanted. 

"Does it matter? Why do we have to know right now?" he finally added. "I don't want to think about that right now, and I don't want you to, either." 

There was an agrument waiting on my lips, but I fought it back. I didn't want to think about it, and I didn't think I wanted to know the answer. "Fine," was all I said instead. 

I looked up again and found that James' eyes were already on me. I felt tears threatening to fall, but I refused to be sad in this moment. I refused to let what he had just told me change everything that was happening right now. I didn't want to let go yet, and I knew that he didn't either. 

What I did let go of was everything that I had been holding back since first seeing him today. All of the anger, confusion, lust, and longing. I tilted my head up and kissed him softly before pulling away and looking at him again. 

But it wasn't enough. For either of us. 

James tangled his hand in my hair and pulled me in again, all of the gentleness I had used earlier disappearing. All of what we had talked about before was fading away, until all there was to think about was the fact that his lips were soft and his hands felt like the only place that would keep me solid. This was my future, I quickly realized. Not all of the shit he just laid on me, not all of my mixed up emotions, and not even this incredibly hot makeout session. My future was James, plain and simple. 

And that statement may have been plain, it was easy enough to understand. But it was far from simple, and unfortunately, I wasn't naive enought to ignore that. 

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So close to a happy ending, and yet so far away. Will their love survive this test of character? Find out next time on... Oh, wait. You won't find out next chapter. >:) I suggest staying tuned, however. 

There you have your update, my lovelies. You know the drill VOTE/COMMENT/FAN