am i happy yet? || poetry book

Cameras

It was the first time I had taken photos on a professional camera.

It was surprisingly therapeutic. Usually when I'm in a social situation, I panic and either lose control or go home. Under normal circumstances, I would ever have had the courage to take pictures of random strangers, but with that camera in my hand I felt powerful. It was kinda like I was hiding behind the camera, which I found quite relieving.
Everyone could see me, but the for the first time in a LONG time, they didn't question why my clothing looked so weird, or why my hair was a mess. Why my face was make-up free, or why I wore glasses when I didn't need them. I loved it.

One person asked if I was a photography student, and, of course, I was too socially awkward to tell him that I was twelve, so I just said yes. I don't mind though. I didn't mind being the trendy photography student at college who was amazing at messy buns and always carried her camera around. I think I was her that day.

It was quite saddening, therefore, when I got back home to go straight to my room and watch YouTube. But oh well. I guess it's okay to be the geeky Y7 with messy brown hair, depressing clothes, emo music blasting through headphones and a book in her hand for a little while longer.

The trendy photography student can wait.

I wrote this a couple of months ago but I hope you still like it!!