fuck.

3:27 PM August 21,2017

Dear diary,

My name is Max. im a transgender boy, living in a grouphome for people who need extra help

so far im hoping someone will bash my fucking skull in until i die.  or get pregnant so i can be in foster care but we all know that 1 i cant raise a baby, 2 I am pansexual and that'll be hard to explain to a child and 3 whats the fucking point. My ex messaged me awhile ago and she started flirting with me. i told my girlfriend about it but the only person keeping contact with her wont pick up her phone so i obviously dont know what the fuck she said. right now Im sitting at the youth computer typing away in some boring ass placement home. so far in life Im not exactly what to do with my life. if i were to have any advice for people in a grouphome id say be good, dont do bad shit but Im not even following my own advice. Honestly, i want to go home and sleep in MY bed, see MY dad and live in MY house. My case- worker is out until next monday so i cant ask him if i could see my dad outside of my managed visits until then. Im in this home because my mental state isnt very well enough apparently and if i make another suicide attempt or if i cut again, im going back in a mental institution for quiet some time. at this point i have no cigarettes, no weed, no drugs, no blades, no friends, no alex. fuck so far the past 5 months have been hell..

this songs called Fight The Feeling by Mac Miller F.t Kendrick Lamar

whatever, life hates me anyways. see ya

Max

update; for those who wonder what i look like