My Hands Hold My Story (Rough Draft)

Chapter Twenty-One

Proud of the young teen, I followed her to the ladder. Somehow, we managed to work together to get ourselves up to our attic with the children. We didn't get any help from Anna, who hadn't left the kitchen table.

Maybe she was in some kind of shock over what had happened, but I had the feeling that wasn't the case. In fact, I was beginning to be certain that Anna was a self centered person who would never change.

¤¤¤¤

In the morning, dark circles were under Father's eyes when he sat down at the head of the table. He was still dressed in the suit he had worn the previous day, and the fabric was wrinkled. He sipped his cup of coffee, but made no move to eat the breakfast Mrs. Evers set on the table for us all.

Where had our neighbor slept last night? Surely, she couldn't have ridden to her home and then returned before dawn. However she managed it, she had a full breakfast ready when I came down and the cloths that Anna had left by the back door were also gone.

Was it wrong of me to be relieved that I wouldn't have to wash the blood from them?

As young as they were, Katie and Sam seemed to sense the solemn atmosphere. They both wanted Father's attention, and I was happy to see him make the effort to give it to them, though the bleakness in his eyes didn't fade.

Did he remember, as I did, the last time a child had died in our family? I hadn't seen Baby James, my younger brother, when he died, but the feeling of loss was the same.

Though the food smelled delicious, once again, I couldn't eat. Had anyone thought to send word to Simon, wherever he was? Whatever the bad feelings between him and the rest of the family, surely he would want to know this had happened.

Only Anna behaved as she always did. She talked through the whole meal, though I didn't see a word since she made sure she did not face me at any point. Most of her comments seemed to be addressed to Remy, but he didn't respond to anything she said. That didn't discourage her from continuing to talk.

Across from me, Mrs. Evers rolled her eyes on several occasions. At least I wasn't the only one disgusted with my step sister's behavior.

All too soon, Father stood up. For a moment, he let his gaze travel around the table. Anna even closed her mouth, though her expression became sullen.

"Please..me at...trees..."

Please what? I shifted my gaze to Remy and, since he was standing up, I did the same. Reaching out to touch his sleeve, I drew his attention. "What?" I asked. It was clear I had missed something important. He was the only one I trusted to be honest with me and not be frustrated at my question.

Briefly, Remy's gaze flicked to where Father was herding the children outside. Anna followed them, flipping her braided hair over her shoulder. When he focused on me again, he said, "We're burying the baby out by the apple trees."

Though I had walked through it a few times, I hadn't paid much attention to the small orchard that was beyond the barn and corral. The trees were small and, as far I knew, hadn't produced any fruit yet. As far as a burial place, it was a nice choice. The thought made tears well up in my eyes.

Remy laced his fingers with mine as we both walked to the door. Without letting go of my hand, he let me go through the doorway first and then he followed. Side by side, we crossed the distance from the house to the orchard.

An oh-so-tiny coffin was already there, the lid nailed firmly shut. Father must have done so before any of us were awake to see. I could only feel glad not to have seen the poor baby's body.