Unfortunate Events

The Mini Epilogue

A little Malfoy would certainly give new context to old facts. While it is known that almost from the beginning of their public relationship, Miss Granger has been desirous to sire the Malfoy heirs, there are rumours circulating the words, 'Malfoy, I want your blond, Slytherin babies,' did not actually come from her mouth. The reader should consider that this was only a clever ruse to deflect attention away from a blond, Slytherin-Gryffindor baby already in existence.

While the couple's honeymoon plans have been kept confidential, according to trustworthy sources the newlyweds are spending two weeks on Capri, an island off the coast of Italy famous for its topless mermaids. In local legends, the island is said to contain magical properties that enhance fertility. Will we soon be hearing the pitter patter of tiny wizard feet? Or perhaps a little witch's scampering to join the alleged Malfoy-Granger love child? (story continued on page three).

With a laugh, Hermione set the Daily Prophet down. Not moving from her place on the bed, Hermione reached for the nightstand and blindly felt around for her wand. Grabbing the stick of vine, she lazily flicked her wrist, levitating the pages through the open balcony doors. A gentle breeze rifled through the paper, and for a few seconds she watched its pages flutter before she set it on fire. The small flame was not large enough by half, but that problem was easily solved. Summoning the other two copies of the Daily Prophet she'd yet to read, she added them to the conflagration. Much better. Too tired to lift her head or get out of bed, she contented herself with picturing the ashes scattering across the lapis expanse of the Mediterranean Sea. "And may the mermaids choke on them," she happily sang.

Hermione closed her eyes, nestling her head further into her pillow while her hand once again lazily groped along her nightstand. Where were those blasted...Ah ha! Her fingers wrapped around the stack of letters Ginny had asked their close family and friends to write to the bride and groom. A rather thoughtful gift Hermione never would have expected Ginny to devise, especially given how upset she was when she found out she'd lost the bet to Zabini.

The letters had sat neglected on the nightstand for the past three days. Not that Hermione could be blamed. Things had been rather busy. As soon as their reception had ended, she and Malfoy had Portkeyed from France to Capri, a destination Draco had managed to keep secret right until the moment they appeared at the hotel they'd stayed at before. Since then she'd been too busy becoming Mrs. Malfoy to even think about the letters. With a smug smile, Hermione pulled up the white cotton sheet, tenting it over her head as she burrowed into the mattress, clutching the letters to her chest. Yes, congratulations were in order. First to her, since she'd allowed Draco to insist on his plans for their wedding night, and second to him, for the wedding night itself. Unsurprisingly, her introduction to wedded bliss was a lot like her husband—ambitious, determined, resourceful, and charming. For that alone Draco deserved a prize. But there was also the matter of the most comfortable mattress on which she now lay. He had been right. It was much better than a stone bench.

With a loud yawn, Hermione stretched her limbs to the four corners, taking full advantage of the empty bed. Draco had briefly absented himself to retrieve some lunch, having tired of the room service they'd been living off for the past three days. He'd left her with a warning not to get too comfortable, so she figured she had less than half an hour to herself. But what to do with it? Wait until he returned before opening Ginny's wedding gift? Or read the letters and reseal them before he returned?

Hermione turned the thick, cream-colored envelope over in her hands, tracing the neat script of her mother addressing them as Mr. And Mrs. Malfoy. Biting her lip, she hesitated before deciding that Draco would understand.

She'd just slipped her finger under the lip of the envelope when out of nowhere the sheet she was resting under was ripped away, exposing her to a very handsome blond man standing over her. Hermione screamed.